GOT TATTOOS? No Service For You!


This nice young man threw a tantrum after being denied access to the shops.


First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the homeless, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not homeless.
Then they came for the tattooed, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not tattooed.
Then they came for me--and there was no one left to speak for me.


Got tattoos No service for you.

Not only are tattoos are a great way of keeping respectable Japanese women out of your bed, now they will keep you out of Shonan's best restaurants, bars and clubs. The summer of 2013 will be looked back at as a shameful time in Kanagawa Prefecture's history. It was the first year that all venues serving alcohol on the beaches were not permitted to admit anyone with visible tattoos. Tattoo enthusiasts from Japan are gentle and artistic people. They are only trying to express their individuality and are treated like dog shit when non-tattooed Japanese find out. It's the worst kind of discrimination as they are just like you and me. The only difference is they come in colors.

The tattooed and non tattooed can still mingle in the water- for now.

Everybody lock your doors, get a gun, protect yourself!  The Shonan area rich fucks condone illegal activities! The key point of the following exposition is that their practices are based on hate. Hate, jingoism, and an intolerance of another viewpoint, another way of life. It is high time for someone to indicate in a rough and approximate way the two fatuous tendencies that I believe are the main driving force of modern  Japanese classism. Will that someone be you?

This disgusting behavior must be dealt with.




In my estimation, about 90-95% of the Shonan area residents are racists, anti-tattoo and hardcore anti-immigrant. I believe it is okay to have an anti-immigration stance if you can properly explain your position; being anti-immigrant because you don't like noisy Chinese or overweight Australians doesn't count. If you encounter any of these local people, they will have no problems letting you know that they don't like you within minutes of meeting you, they are simply expressing their beliefs.

"It's really nice not having the tattooed riff raff from Saitama in the shops this year."

    Those locals feel that Americans are violent, rude, tackily tattooed and leave a huge mess behind. The  Australians and Brits are just generally tacky, hairy, overweight and hard on the eyes. The other 5%-10% of the people you meet in Shonan are the nicest people in the Japan, they are really genuinely nice people, super polite and very fuckable.

    This local woman will no longer have to rub shoulders with the tattooed, she'll only see them when she rinses off her feet on the way home.

      Shonan Beach Coordinator, Naomasa Sakonju (58), told me,
      It's my job to enforce the rules. The wealthy and beautiful residents of the Muira Peninsula, Hayama, Chigasaki, Zushi, Kamakura and Enoshima have voted that music over 60-70 dB would be prohibited in any licensed beach house, and that patrons with visible tattoos would not be permitted entry at any establishment serving alcohol. This was requested because of trouble making American servicemen- who tend to be tattooed-and badly at that. Sadly, Japanese tattoo enthusiasts will also have to be denied service- as not to create an international incident with the US embassy. But, you can blame America for this."

      "Even untattooed foreigners tend to be an eyesore."

      We do all of ourselves a disservice by claiming other people are anti tattoo, and by painting these people as crazed right wingers, or Freepers, or Storm Front members. There's no doubt that there are many residents who discriminate based on social class - but they are typically just the loud fringe. The majority of anti tattoo discrimination is subtle, or a knee jerk or sometimes it comes from those who don't mean to be prejudice at all. We even do ourselves a disservice of thinking of the wealthy Shonan residents as "those people" rather than taking a good hard look in the mirror first - and I mean that to even the most progressive of us, the most socially conscious of us. We all have our prejudices and we must all combat them, continually.

      Even tattooed women have complexes. This gal hides her flat ass in a large,unflattering bikini.



      Naomasa, The Shonan Beach Coordinator adds,


      "Those tattooed and bad foreigners, I would like to ban them from the actual beach and water as well, but they're public property of Japan and would require a national vote.  I'm working on it for next year, though. I'd like to at least restrict these scumbags to Enoshima Nishgahama, that place is already the biggest shithole in Kanagawa. Unsalvageable, 75% of the complaints come from there. We need a tsunami to come and wipe away all the scum and rebuild. Sadly, I don't have the power to make that happen. We also reserve the right to change these rules as we see fit over the course of the dirty, black summer.
      Enoshima's Nishigahama Beach has been a cesspool of crime since the 70's.


      It's too late to save Enoshima. Their property values are among the lowest on the coast thanks to the dirtbags from outside the area. There are rapes of men and women every year. Many fights daily and lots of petty crime. Last year one of the beach house managers was arrested for stealing wallets from his customers. The moron was caught at the end of the season because the threw all the empty wallets away in a clear plastic bag- right in front of his own shop. There were over 50 and many are still unclaimed. No one is safe there. A strong young firefighter from Tokyo was taken under a beach house, given drugs by a huge, foreign black man. He was then beaten and raped. The police don't even want to go there. If you leave your bag unattended on the beach for a minute some scumbag will go through it and steal your valuables. I can promise you that."

      Tattoo free kids from the outer suburbs are also troublemakers. Why focus on the tattoo enthusiasts?





      In the mid 1990's, Enoshima tried banning alcohol from its beaches, Shonan Beach coordinator, Naomasa Sakonju expressed his opposition to the proposal and issued a warning. "The heavy drinkers who amass during summer won’t go away." he said. "They’ll move inland, away from beach, and make it harder for our police to monitor crime.


      “I'd like to ban all tattoos, the yanquis and foreigners from outside the area. Sadly,the group that wants to drink and party will go somewhere else in town,” Sakonju said at the time. “On the beach there are no windows to break or fires to start. It’s pretty easy to manage and contain.”

      Last Sunday, some tattooed , drunken Americans servicemen actually asked Naomasa to, " Point us to the sluts!"





      Three years later, crime statistics appear to support Sakonju's forecast. Alcohol-related crime fell in beach communities after the ban and climbed elsewhere in Shonan, according to an analysis of police statistics. Citywide, alcohol-related crime continued a rise that started years before the ban. The only solution was to ban tattoos. That should filter out a bad element from the toxic mix.

      Free of tattoos, these gals can go anywhere they please.



      It's working  well. Business is down 25% at all the affected shops. The tattooed beachgoers are feeling the discrimination on the public beaches for the first time in Japan's history. In mid July, 2 men were stabbed over a dispute that may have been related to the policy.  Last week, I personally witnessed a rich kid from the area attack and bloody the lip of a young man who was just minding his own business on the beach with his friends- all because he was recently tattooed.

      Fully soundproofed for 2013, only the uninked can enter.

      The tattoo enthusiasts of Japan are already denied access to most public baths, onsens and fitness clubs. Japanese culture is a shame society. This essentially reflects on the idea of honor as a societal control. Particular to Japan is the concept of the Bushido, referred to as the way of the samurai or warrior. At its extreme, it implies that it is the duty of the Japanese to die for the nation. Most Japanese over 30 think it serves them right.

      This spoiled local attacks a group of men who's skin art offend him.


      Anti tattoo propaganda also made the enthusiasts appear to be criminals and marijuana users, these laughable accusations became a commonly held perception of the rich taxpayers who live in the area. This legislation leads to the tenacity with which Japanese soldiers fought, often to the death, and actions such as kamikaze attacks and mass suicides. The stubborn and spoiled residents of the Shonan coast are close minded and out to get the working class, who need the beach and it's facilities to cool off in the sweltering Japanese summers. The rich residents rarely accept any type of compromise. They are entitled, selfish and particularly duty-bound by these notions, they would be more likely to commit suicide than surrender.

      Punched in the mouth for the colors on his skin, his friend dressed like Gilligan attends to his wounds.


      Sakaibara Shigematsu of Nishi Kawaguchi, was assaulted by a wealthy, young local man who attends the posh Keio University.
      I just got punched in the mouth by a drunk rich kid. Where are the cops when you need them? He just ran at me and my friends swinging.  He got me good, busted my lip wide open. This year is bullshit man. We used to be able to go in and spend 800 yen on a draft beer. This year, we gotta go the the conbini across the way and fill up our coolers with 150 yen canned drinks. We used to drop about 5,000 yen a day on food and drinks- EACH! Now, I maybe blow about 1500 on my beers and a soba. I bust my ass all week on the construction site, rebuilding Japan- for THEM!

      (Actually, Hayama, Muira, Zushi and Yuigahama beaches are randomly stopping foreigners and tattooed Asians and searching their bags for alcoholic beverages. There are no reports from Enoshima yet, but that beach is so shady that it would be nearly impossible to enforce.)
      These spoiled fucks down here don't want us down here ruining their view of the sea. Shit, we only come down in July and August. They have the beach year round- I live up in goddam Dasaitama, like 2 hours away. I don't have shit to do up there. They just wanna walk their dogs and be lame. I just wanna jam out to some tunes and look at the girls, man. It's fucked up and open discrimination. Fuck Shonan! I' may start going to Chiba.”

      Sweet, sweet Erika.....





      My new best friend, the Sexy Erika Inoue (24) of Roppongi told me"

      "This isn't just an ordinary back tattoo, you see..."

      While slightly turning around under her beach umbrella to show me proper,

      "this tattoo is magic." she said with some of mysticism in her voice.


      "If I hold it just right, it exposes the prejudice and ugliness of small minded people.  I often think of my tattoos as a type of social filter. Let's start with the claim that tattoo haters's agents provocateurs feel that the future of the entire beach rests in tattoo haters's hands. Sorry, guys, but the inconvenient truth is that if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem."


      The brainy Waseda University graduate student adds,

      " I think the Venn Diagram of people who wouldn't interact with someone because they have a tattoo and people I would like to talk to and perhaps know has no overlap. If someone is so close minded and shitty, as to rule out interacting with someone because they made a decision you would not, a decision whose consequences you absolutely do not have to face, I probably don't want to know them either."



      Take a good look at my good looks. I'll be eating falafel balls and drinking my Moët & Chandon champagne anywhere on the beach I choose.

      Tokyo Trump Fans Gone Wild




      Sexy Japanese fans of American politics have had enough of this bullshit.


      Y
      oshi Shimuzu (44) got up to speak in his Trump mask at 2:55 pm, people were still leaving. Maybe it was the chilly November air. Maybe they had an interracial Tinder date they had to get to. Maybe it was to let people who had been waiting for three hours in line a chance to be nearer Trump, spiritually at least.



      Yoshi's mask was about $30 in a Ueno mask shop, he got it this morning.


      In 2020, public displays of bliss are scarce and fleeting in Japanese cities, Tokyo included. Urban parts of Japan felt like Petri dishes through  April, May and June before degenerating into sudden debate zones over the summer. But when Joe Biden claimed victory, Trump supporters had none of the usual “American's rape our women in Okinawa!” rhetoric on their minds. As the march started today, they erupted with glee. Chants of “U.S.A.!” " Kameltoe sucks!" and “Motherfuck Joe Biden” shook the streets.

      Droves of frustrated non political types were inconvenienced by the march. They had to wait up to an hour to get across the street.


      The strenously trendy, Mu Shu Pork was one of several annoyingly dressed, androgynous vloggers were hoping to get record views with this controversial parade they endured for their fans.

      It’s inaccurate, and rather silly, that the media portray the majority of Trump supporters, especially the women, as sexually frustrated housewives, angry and bitter. Because throughout the evening, the “Oriental deplorables” seemed not just in partially drunk and  good spirits: They were jubilant. Although COVID-19 had taken its toll on the city’s economic activity and part timer's employment, Trump fans still smiled, cheered, laughed, and took selfies with Yoshi in his cheap Trump mask and ill- fitting suit. The crowd danced along to "I'm Proud to be an American",  Macho Man" and Saijo Hideki cover of "YMCA" blaring from loudspeakers.


      Tokyo Trump fans have spoken!



      Maybe it was the event itself that was important, not what was said.It was reported by TikTok users that Melania Trump gave the exact same speech that Yoshi delivered, word for word, at a Pittsburgh rally last month. He declined to comment. In this way, these Trump in Japan rallies are like a poor man's American football tailgate party. The game is just the thing to gather around; it’s the communing with others that is most meaningful. American loving Japanese, expats and wannabes need a team to cheer for, a place to belong.

      IMG_0059.jpg
      The brisk weather made Bernard's pussy attracting pet lizard almost lifeless.


      One of the few Westerners in attendance was not happy.

      These conservative Trump loving Asians are dirty girls, Prince. I've seen them looking in their selfie camera, performing strip teases for her social media fans. I had a Tinder match last Wednesday afternoon, I swiped because she was wearing a red MAGA hat. We went straight to a hotel after meeting in front on Shinjuku Donki. She needed to suss me out before going somewhere private with me. She turned out to be a pro- and quite long in the tooth, I'd guess 28 or 29. Not surprising, Tokyo Tinder is full of them targeting white guys here. I offered her 20,000 yen if I could just take some photos of her with the new iPhone pro model I  just got.
      For a conservative lady she was sure familiar with the sort of photos we see in Japanese men's websites. I took about 50 photos with her clothes on first. Just to make her relax, but she didn't need it.

      She got naked quickly. In contrast to her well below average, flattish face, her omanko was a ten. I dropped to my knees to take pictures of it, my camera beeping away- as per Japanese regulations. I'm not entirely satisfied with the battery life on this thing either. I had my charger though- to be extra safe.

      Then she used her grubby fingers to open up for me to get an up close view. The she flipped over and put her flat ass up in the air, wiggling her hips seductively. Then she spread her flat cheeks, there was some slight acne there, but nothing to put me off. I put the light on my phone and I was afforded  rather generous view of her entire area, from her dark brown anus and smooth perineum to her half -hardheartedly groomed nest of black pubic hair. I couldn't resist and had a quick taste of her asshole- just a little taste... It tasted of sweaty, salty lemons.

      I asked for a quick fuck and she wanted an additional 30,000. I would have done it, but I need the cash for the reptile fair in Ikebukuro I was going to on Saturday. I looked for her here, maybe she'd throw me a sympathy lay cause we share the same anti- China feelings like Trump. She's here, but with some doofy white guy.”

      Bernard G, 44. "Wealth Manager" from Montreal.










      Most of the younger women in attendance today were Chinese YouTubers in MAGA hats and sunglasses








      "We have to stop the steal, Biden's son has to be kept out of the White House. I've seen the video of him getting a foot job from the underage Chinese broad, I'm quite jealous, there's a lot of cute Chinese girls here, but they're just making anti-Japanese YouTube videos, or whatever they call their copy of YouTube is over there. There were way more hot girls at the Anti Trump rally in Yoyogi park a couple years ago, but that got a lot of publicity beforehand. I'm pretty disappointed in the talent pool. Older crowd."

      'Donald' Takahashi, 39 of Kawasaki


      "I came here directly from a hard night of drinking and got pretty jacked up on meth before I left home. Jesus Christ, man, I'm fucking wired, Prince. I've got a hard on and breath that smells like an spoiled tuna fish sandwich under this mask.  I'm gonna go straight home and clean my apartment for a few hours after this thing ends."

      Masaharu W. "No known occupation" from Fukui prefecture.


      The usual complaints of wanting the US bases moved far away, so the horny soldiers will stop sexually assaulting locals, were forgotten today.





      The crowd of over 2,500 got dirty looks from bystanders for selfishly disrupting the harmony of late autumn.


      Yoshi took hundreds of selfies with female Trump fans, many were unaware.


      Many Chinese reporters were rooting around, looking for a hot poop. The Japanese media ignored it, probably as ordered.




      Delicious grilled fish, an American favorite was waiting for the hungry protesters at the final event stage in Shimbashi.


      Zany, young Chinese vloggers made the event all about them, and will probably have shitloads of views and be seen as heroes back home for exposing this.

      Fuck Joe Biden, the Tokyo Trump fans and the fake news media.
      I'm gonna treat myself to one of these Crab& Cheese fried things they were giving away to white people at the end of Yoshi's %100 plagiarized speech.

      Tokyo Trump Fans Gone Wild

      Sexy Japanese fans of American politics have had enough.
      Yoshi Shimuzu got up to speak in his Trump mask at 2:55 pm, it was the end of a 3 hour rally and people were leaving. Maybe it was the chilly November air. Maybe they had an interracial Tinder date they had to get to. Maybe it was to let people who had been waiting, marching and chanting for three hours a chance to be nearer Trump, spiritually at least.

      Yoshi's mask was about $30 in a Ueno mask shop, he got it this morning.


      In 2020, public displays of bliss are scarce and fleeting in Japanese cities, Tokyo included. Urban parts of Japan felt like Petri dishes throughout the semi lockdown in April, May and June before degenerating into sudden debate zones over the summer when shit started opening back up. But when Joe Biden claimed victory, Trump supporters had none of the usual “American GIs rape our women in Okinawa!” rhetoric on their minds. As the march started today, they erupted with glee. Chants of “U.S.A.!”, "Kameltoe sucks!" and “Motherfuck Joe Biden!” shook the streets.

      Droves of frustrated non political types were inconvenienced by the march. They had to wait up to an hour to get across the street.

      The strenuously trendy, Mu Shu Pork was one of several annoyingly dressed, androgynous vloggers,  hoping to get record views with this controversial parade they endured for their tween fans.

      It’s inaccurate, and rather silly, that the media portray the majority of Trump supporters, especially the women, as sexually frustrated housewives, angry and bitter. Because throughout the evening, the “Oriental deplorables” seemed not just in partially drunk and  good spirits: They were jubilant. Although COVID-19 had taken its toll on the city’s economic activity and part timer's employment, Trump fans still smiled, cheered, laughed, and took selfies with Yoshi in his cheap Trump mask and ill- fitting suit. The crowd danced along to "I'm Proud to be an American""Macho Man" and the Saijo Hideki cover of "YMCA" blaring from loudspeakers.

      Tokyo police were sweating bullets for fear the Tokyo factions of the Poor Boys, BLM or Antifa would show up to challenge the marchers.

      Tokyo Trump fans have spoken!

      Maybe it was the event itself that was important, not what was said.It was reported by TikTok users that Melania Trump gave the exact same speech that Yoshi delivered, word for word, at a Pittsburgh rally last month. He declined to comment. In this way, these Trump in Japan rallies are like a poor man's American football tailgate party. The game is just the thing to gather around; it’s the communing with others that is most meaningful. American loving Japanese, expats and wannabes need a team to cheer for, a place to belong.

      The brisk weather made Bernard's pussy attracting pet lizard almost lifeless.

      One of the few Westerners in attendance was not happy.

      These conservative Trump loving Asians are dirty girls, Prince. I've seen them looking in their selfie camera, performing strip teases for her social media fans. I had a Tinder match last Wednesday afternoon, I swiped because she was wearing a red MAGA hat. We went straight to a hotel after meeting in front on Shinjuku Donki. She needed to suss me out before going somewhere private with me. She turned out to be a pro- and quite long in the tooth, I'd guess 28 or 29. Not surprising, Tokyo Tinder is full of them targeting white guys here. I offered her 20,000 yen if I could just take some photos of her with the new iPhone pro model I  just got.
      For a conservative lady she was sure familiar with the sort of photos we see in Japanese men's websites. I took about 50 photos with her clothes on first. Just to make her relax, but she didn't need it.

      She got naked quickly. In contrast to her well below average, flattish face, her omanko was a ten. I dropped to my knees to take pictures of it, my camera beeping away- as per Japanese regulations. I'm not entirely satisfied with the battery life on this thing either. I had my charger though- to be extra safe.

      Then she used her grubby fingers to open up for me to get an up close view. The she flipped over and put her flat ass up in the air, wiggling her hips seductively. Then she spread her flat cheeks, there was some slight acne there, but nothing to put me off. I put the light on my phone and I was afforded  rather generous view of her entire area, from her dark brown anus and smooth perineum to her half -hardheartedly groomed nest of black pubic hair. I couldn't resist and had a quick taste of her asshole- just a little taste... It tasted of sweaty, salty lemons.

      I asked for a quick fuck and she wanted an additional 30,000. I would have done it, but I need the cash for the reptile fair in Ikebukuro I was going to on Saturday. I looked for her here, maybe she'd throw me a sympathy lay cause we share the same anti- China feelings like Trump. She's here, but with some doofy white guy.”

      Bernard G, 44. "Wealth Manager" from Montreal.






      Today's Stop the Steal rally was not advertised in the press and only spread by being mocked on Twitter.


      Most of the younger women in attendance today were Chinese YouTubers in MAGA hats and sunglasses







      "We have to stop the steal, Biden's son has to be kept out of the White House. I've seen the videos of him getting a foot job from the underage Chinese broad, I'm quite jealous, there's a lot of cute Chinese girls here, but they're just making anti-Japanese YouTube videos, or whatever they call their copy of YouTube is over there. There were way more hot girls at the Anti Trump rally in Yoyogi park a couple years ago, but that got a lot of publicity beforehand. I'm pretty disappointed in the talent pool. Older crowd."

      'Donald' Takahashi, 39 of Kawasaki

      "I came here directly from a hard night of drinking and got pretty jacked up on meth before I left home. Jesus Christ, man, I'm fucking wired, Prince. I thought 80,000,000 Joe Biden fans can't be wrong, but the turnout here suggests otherwise, huh? I've got a hard on and breath that smells like an spoiled tuna fish sandwich under this mask.  I'm gonna go straight home and clean my apartment for a few hours after this thing ends."

      Masaharu W. "No known occupation" from Fukui prefecture.


      The usual complaints of wanting the US bases moved far away, so the horny soldiers will stop sexually assaulting locals, were forgotten today.


      The Japanese are not as trusting the white man's news as they once were.


      The crowd of over 2,500 got dirty looks from bystanders for selfishly disrupting the harmony of late autumn.

      Yoshi took hundreds of selfies with female Trump fans, most were totally unaware.
      While Yoshi worked the crowd up into a frenzy, the Japanese media ignored it, probably as ordered.

      Zany, young Chinese vloggers made the event all about themselves, and will probably have shitloads of views and be seen as heroes back home for exposing this.
      Delicious grilled fish, an American favorite was waiting for the hungry protesters at the final event stage in Shimbashi.

      The Finish line! Fuck Joe Biden, the Tokyo Trump fans and the fake news media.
      I'm gonna treat myself to one of these Crab & Cheese fried things they were giving away to white people at the end of Yoshi's %100 plagiarized speech.
      *Yoshi declined to be interviewed, saying he doesn't talk to reporters without a pussy and The Hairy White Prince's Raretreats was fake news.

      Real Men of Japan series- Dan.



      Real Men Of Japan


      • Dec. 14th, 2007 at 7:44 PM


      Canadian Dan D. is a real man. Unlike the pretentious Hollywood pretty boys who openly mock me with their good looks by not shaving, having faux greasy hair, wearing knit caps, Dickies and phony vintage t-shirts. Dan is the real deal. Hard drinking, fighting, womanizing and always 2 steps ahead of the man. Dan is the Charles Bukowski of Japan and he doesn't even know it. He even sports a shiner on his alien registration card, I'd like to see Johnny Depp try that one. He seems to thrive on being in trouble with the law ,the Yakuza, the ladies and their husbands, Dan always survives.
      Macho package, sporting a black eye

      A man's man and a seducer of many ladies, he was hit by van while eating an ice cream sandwich in a 7-11 parking lot and then run over by 2 other cars. He tried to walk away before his collapsed lung gave out. He has a liver the size of a life preserver and still drinks daily.

      Years ago, when he was an English teacher he suffered a mild heart attack in class. He paused for about a minute, turned purple, took a deep breath, wheezed and kept right on teaching. He went to the hospital only after his 3rd station beer and everyone forced him to.
      A year later he was hospitalized for having walking pneumonia, this was only discovered because he was bought to the hospital DOA after choking to death on a chicken bone in Kawaguchi. He was revived and kept in the Cancer ward for 2 weeks with 3 geezers literally on their deathbeds because there was no where else to put him.


      "I'd like to whip you with my belt on the legs, the ass, the thighs. I'd like to make you quiver and cry and then when you're quivering and crying I'd slam it into you pure love."

      "I don't want that, Dan. You've never talked like that to me before. You've always done right with me."

      "Pull your dress up higher."

      "What?"


      "Pull your dress up higher, I want to see more of your legs."

      "You like my short legs, don't you, Dan?"

      "Let the light shine on them!"


      Etsuko hiked her dress.

      "God Christ shit," said Dan.

      "You like my legs?"

      "I love your legs!" Then Dan reached across the bed and slapped Etsuko hard across the face. Her cigarette flipped out of her mouth.

      "what'd you do that for?"

      "You fucked Yuji! You fucked Yuji!"

      "So what the hell?"

      "So pull your dress up higher!"

      "No!"

      "Do what I say!" Dan slapped again, harder. Etsuko hiked her skirt.

      "Just up to the panties!" shouted Dan. "I don't quite want to see the panties!"

      "Yadda, Dan, what's gone wrong with you?"

      "You fucked Yuji!"


      "Dan, I swear, you've gone crazy. I want to leave. Let me out of here, Dan!"

      "Don't move or I'll kill you!"

      "You'd kill me?"

      "I swear it!" Dan got up and poured himself a shot of straight whiskey, drank it, and sat down next to Etsuko. He took the cigarette and held it against her wrist. She screamed. He held it there, firmly, then pulled it away.

      Dan will outlive all of you.

      KISS disrespects Japan's number one Kiss tribute band

      KISS takes money from the Tokyo fans one last time.



      KISS Haneta, the former number one KISS tribute band in Japan, and one of the best in Asia, made a public appearance at Tokyo Dome as special guests of the band.



      "We were voted the best KISS makeup era tribute in Japan in 2010 through 2015, then again in 2018 by the KISS Army Japan. We got fucked over this year by that dumb comedy tribute, Gene Simmonz Cherry Red Asshole this year. The Japanese KISS fans spoke and we need to respect their decision, but it's bullshit."



      Hiroshi Hoshi-Ko ( Ace) whines.



      " For starters, GENE SIMMONZ Cherry Red Asshole? They don't even play any instruments and there's only two of them! What the fuck is that nonsense? I feel it's disrespectful to the Catman and Spaceman characters. We pay a full tribute, not a half assed, zany one.


      I admit that I fucked up and used a white, Tommy Thayer signed Epiphone Les Paul when one of the Lieutenants from the KISS Army Japan was at our show in Fukuoka. It was very irresponsible of me. He mentioned it after the show and said we need to stay consistent with era authenticity to hold our title. I bought that guitar on the 2017 KISS Kruise and only used it that one show.  Just that one time..."



      Rich, spoiled families like this got to attend the full service VIP meet and greet thanks the their dad's job at some investment bank. They probably only stayed an hour anyway.



      "The KISS Kruise VII was so fun, I took a selfie with famous KISS writer, Julian Gill from @kissfaq on that Kruise. He was much heavier than I expected and sounds all academic and British or something- maybe just well educated. That guy must be rich from all the KISS books he writes though. I bet he got an actual Paul Stanley Washburn stage used, signed guitar and meet and greet for up to three people and four additional items signed. That package was almost $20,000. Tommy's was just $2800. New ones are only worth about $350, but I owed it to Tommy."



      Hiroshi and KISS Haneta had a good laugh posing for photos with fans outside Tokyo Dome.


      "Last week, the Japan KISS tour management sent us an email inviting us to come hang out before the show, the invite didn't include transportation from Kobe though, so we spent about $300 each to get up here on the shinkansen. The hotel also was our responsibility. We also had to take a couple days off from work cause it was a Tuesday."



      The sexy ladies had more interest in buying official goods and selfies than pics with KISS hatena.



      "We got into town and went straight to our rooms so we could get dressed up and go to the official tour goods line to meet and greet the fans, some of those pathetic fucks had been waiting in the cold since 7AM! We did get a famous porn star who wanted a pic with the full band, Minato Riku. She loves KISS. She said she'll follow us on Twitter. But she hasn't even put the pic up on her Instagram. Fucking pig bitch.



      We're the best tribute in Japan for sure. My costume is an exact replica of the 1977 Love Gun tour one that Ace used. I mean exact! Custom made by one of the best tailors in Kobe. I'm even almost the same size as Ace was back then. Although the real Ace is quite juicy now, I've been maintaining my weight through keto an intermittent fasting. It' ain't easy keeping a 30 inch waist at 53 years old, Prince."



      Quite a few ladies wanted photos for Instagram with Hiroshi and the band. None wanted to exchange contact info though.


      2019 KISS Army Japan Best Makeup Era Tribute band, GENE SIMMONZ Cherry Red Asshole, are more of a comedy act than a proper tribute. They do a silly melody of the hits with a karaoke machine and a lot of Paul's onstage banter and moves, a mix of broken English and Japanese. Their act is only 15 minutes long (KISS Haneta do up to 90). It's said they do quite well as an opening act at many smaller rock shows in the greater Tokyo area. In addition to their 30k Twitter followers, they also make quite a bit of money from T-shirt sales. The materialistic Japanese rock fans love merchandise more than the music.


      2019 KISS ARMY Japan Best Makeup Era Tribute band, GENE SIMMONZ Cherry Red Asshole are more of a comedy act than a proper tribute. They had a small line of fans waiting for photos and were selling their own T shirts for $25.


      "It was disappointing to see the other tribute bands were here as well. I understand Gene Simmonz Cherry Red Asshole, but why were shitty #KISS-ZA! and The Elders there? The Elders are fucking weak as fuck, man. They don't even match the eras correctly. Their Gene wears a fucking Star Wars Jawa costume, and their Ace is in the Destroyer tour costume, and he sometimes wears Vinnie Vincent make-up with it! What the fuck is that?  That old queen,Vinnie Vincent looks like an old woman now anyway, no one will address it though. Why not?




      And their Paul Stanley, Shintaro? He's over 60 and looks like he has AIDS and wears black Chuck Taylor's on stage cause he has a bone spur. Bunch of poseurs. I admit, he does have a good voice and they do some deep cuts from the 80's during encores though. I'm sorry for their lame fans. Not a very authentic tribute."



      The Elders got first class, backstage treatment. Courtesy of KISS



      "Gen-chan, who plays Gene in the Elders somehow finagled his way backstage. Why they do a theatrical tribute to that album that even KISS fans hate is beyond me. Gen-chan, he's one short bastard, but speaks good English so he probably made some calls pretending to be someone else. Fucking pushy prick, just like the real Gene I guess. Gen-chan is good at pushing himself on Facebook though. The Three Sides of the Coin podcast guys give him likes all the time. You know I even bought Gene's The Vault box set for two grand and went to the event in LA last January. That's how I spent my annual one week vacation from the post office. "



      These ladies probably had no luck getting backstage to satisfy Gene Simmons.



      "Gene was so-so super cool to me while signing my vault and told me how much he used to love Japanese pussy. He said the girls would line up outside his room back on the 1970's tours. I think he mumbled something about Japanese guys having small cocks and lasting only 2 minutes, I was so mesmerized I just agreed with everything he said. I got pushed along after about 30 seconds. I'm not saying he's racist, but he spent a lot more time with the white fans, especially if there was woman in the group.  The Vault weighs 17.5 kilos so it cost me about $900 extra to bring it back to Japan on Delta."



      The Gene Simmons Vault cost Hiroshi $2000 and $900 to get back to Tokyo.



      Hirotaka "Rocketman" Imai, #KISS-Za!'s Ace actually sings 2000 Man and Hard Times from 1979. Yet his costume is from the 1977 era. He had more attractive ladies taking photos than KISS Hatena.



      These two fans have no business wearing the facepaint. I doubt they've even heard of Mark St. John or Bob Kulick.



      Sadly, most of the sexy ladies interested in photos with KISS Haneta hit their peak the same time as the Dynasty LP- 1979!



      "It's quite sad to say, but I've never been laid as an Ace impersonator. No one in the band has. I played Mick Mars in a Mötley Crüe tribute and got a couple blow jobs from old drunk chicks after shows. Those shows were out in the sticks though an I'm sure I'm the coolest guy they could ever hook up with anyway. I think one show was out in Saga prefecture and the other maybe in Obihiro, up in Hokkaido. I'm sure the actual Tommy Thayer busts nuts with fans all the time with younger, casual fans who don't understand he's just a glorified understudy for the real Ace Frehley. It's sad.




      Hell, I would do it, but I'm Asian and I don't think it would look good for KISS when we are interviewed out of make up. I could do it for sure though. I'm sloppy like Ace, Tommy is more of a technician and boring. Did you know Ace also hates Tommy? He really should have insisted on developing his own character and not be the Spaceman character again. I would have changed it."



      These two fossils probably went to the Budokan show in '77.



      Many soldiers from worldwide KISS Armies attended the last show ever in Tokyo.




      "We got recognized by two captains from the Austrian KISS Army. That was pretty cool. Europe has a very strong KISS tribute scene. We even went to Germany in 2013 for a tribute band festival. We were the only Japanese KISS tribute there. I doubt lame-ass #KISS-Za! or The Elders even have passports. We Japanese have the strongest rock tribute bands in Asia other than the Philippines, most of their bands are too poor to go anywhere though."



      6:49 PM, Hiroshi's name was not on the list...



      The end of the meet and greet was a bit of a clusterfuck. No one from KISS Haneta was on the guest list as promised in the email.



      "If I had to guess I would say those pranksters from GENE SIMMONZ ASSHOLE pulled a fast one on us. Someone set up a KISSJAPANTOURBOSS2019@Gmail.com account and mailed us. They promised tickets, official KISS gift baskets and backstage passes. Also the after party at the Park Hyatt in Shinjuku to hang out with the band, crew and KISS ARMY Japan officials. We tried to crash the after party and it wasn't even there. I later saw KISS were staying at the Hilton! Gen-chan put it on his Instagram today. He had selfies with Sophie Simmons, Eric, Yoshiki and Doc McGee.



      All we had to do was get to Tokyo Dome and meet fans in our costumes and full makeup at the merchandise line from noon to 6:50 PM. Then we would go pick up our tickets and backstage passes at the Will Call window. The staff at Will Call had none of our names on the list and refused to call the tour management backstage. The fat guardman threatened to have me arrested for trespassing if we didn't leave the area immediately. This was all 10 minutes before KISS hit the stage. Someone had a good laugh at our expense.


      We got royally fucked. I was humiliated to the point that my entire manhood was destroyed. We all ended up buying same day tickets at $120 each way in the back. Those seats sucked and all the floor seats were sold out. We must have looked like assholes- all dressed to kill in the cheap seats.

      With all the hassle we missed the first 3 songs too."



      FUCK KISS, Tommy Thayer, GENE SIMMONZ Cherry Red Asshole, The Elders, #KISS -Za!, Minato Riku and especially the KISS Army Japan. Kiss Haneta deserved more respect than that, and didn't stand for 7 hours in the cold posing for photos at great expense to be mocked. 

      Tokyo's Exotic Pet Show Cashes in on Post Xmas Rush




      Last week The Tokyo International Forum hosted the Tokyo Exotic Pet Show. Unlike the white man, Japanese like to spend their money on New Year sales. The timing was chosen for people looking for an interesting pet to give their loved ones this holiday season. Nothing says " I care about you" as much as an actual living, difficult to take care of, exotic pet as a gift.

      I bumped into my old friend Satoru Ishii (32), owner of the Flappy Birds Cafe. He now has a dead eyed lack of soul. He also had lost a lot of weight and had aged quite a bit since opening the cafe in early 2014.

      Satoru has a way with the birds.






      Hey, Satoru, the beastmaster! Long time, no see!


      Liquidation sale on all my owls, Prince. 50% off. The Flappy Birds Cafe went under last month and I've been storing all these fuckers in my mom's spare room. The show here a good chance to offload these things. Also, since I got these things I've had a really bad case of phimosis. I'm pretty sure it's connected cause it got better when I had influenza last year and kept away from the shop for 10 days. That shit came back the same day I returned to work. I really hate to get rid of them but owls are really trendy right now, and I need  the cash badly.

      I'm coming close to some sales and I've got some of these random assholes trying to talk their friends – and even strangers out of taking one. I'd like to strangle those motherfuckers! I need dough like anyone. I'm in debt up to my hairless asshole, Prince!



      Why can't your mother keep them in her place in Ibarakai?



      Well, she's old and deaf, but these things screech and shit all night, the neighbors have been complaining and they've gotta go. Also, I need to get rats and rabbits to feed them every night- that adds up. It's like a goddamn battle ground in there, blood and guts sprayed all over the place.





      "Owls are great pets, even in small Tokyo apartments"






      I've got tarps and plastic up everywhere and it still reeks! I  tried to let a couple go, but they just hung around the neighborhood and attacked small dogs and killed all the crows and a few stray cats, the crows and cats were fine, but the neighborhood association was very upset about the dogs. I had to take them back in before someone killed one. These people up there don't have guns, but they're good archers.

      You invested a lot in the place and the owls, I can't believe you're getting rid of them.





      Believe it!
      I'm in serious debt, Prince. The bank can't repossess animals, so I rented out this section of the show to display and sell my birds and make some quick cash. I also got a bunch of falconry volunteers from Tsukba University to help handle them for the show.







      This potential buyer is on the fence. Satoru's charm will get her to buy!





      My aim with the Flappy Birds Cafe was the education of urbanites of Tokyo and surrounding areas about owls and their way of life. At today's event I'll also have some educational material on owls, and the attendees will be briefed on why owls are great as pets.



      Some shady vendors were even trying to sell ants and turtles they caught in Yoyogi Park!





      The profits from the sales today will go to an owl sanctuary working for the species’ conservation- if I make back my investment. Oh, there is no chicken at this event today, they are serving only beef and pork out of respect for our fine feathered friends. That was my idea. Owls are smart as fuck and can sense that shit.

      Japanese animal lovers will even keep crows as pets.

      I'll find someone to take these if they're cheap enough. Shit, I saw some fat cunt selling a crow for like 200,000 yen over there- granted it did have some white in it.

      Owls sound like they'd be awful pets. Are they legal?


      Oh, yes. Completely 100% legal. Japan has absolutely no laws about keeping any animal as a pet. Anything is OK, even a rhino if you want. Owls will require 3-5 hours of care a day to keep healthy though- I'm telling the potential buyers it's a lot easier. Once they get attached they won't mind.

      If you can tame this tanuki, it might be a cool pet to show off.







      A few years ago some old cunt in Tochigi had a pet orangutan- totally legal, but the city got involved when it got free and killed a bunch of dogs in the public parks dog run. Just those little shit dogs, Chihuahuas and dachshunds. The type Japanese women keep as toys. Scared the hell out of the owners, they ran off screaming for their lives while the giant ape tore through the dumb dogs. Cops got involved cause you're not allowed to let them run free in public. He also had to pay the dog owners for punitive damages.

      "Owls are great gifts for the special lady in your life."




      Why did the Flappy Birds Cafe close?

      Why?!?! Godamn Mayor Yuriko Koike is why! Shit was going OK until she got in office and fucked my shit up. Now we have a broad in office, the city is all severe about following the rules before the Olympics. Fuck the Olympics! I've got a business to run. They said I gotta have the birds put away by 7pm everyday!





      No reason not to charm the female volunteers during the fire sale.





      How can I run a business that closes at 7? The Angry Birds movie bombing also was a factor, I guess. I really thought it was going to drive business up. They released it in Japan with subtitles. Who does that? Who decides to release a foreign children's film with subtitles?

      That's fucked up.

      These birds are awake all night anyway, they're nocturnal and sleep all day. As far as the public was aware, my owl cafe was raising money for barn owl rehabilitation, haha! And, I said we used only ambassador birds. They are supposed to be under care and supervision of a professional falconer – me, the whole time. It seemed like I did my homework and was looking out for the owls.






      Satoru's competition are selling owls for way more!





      Also, one of the birds attacked a small dog in front of a full house. It was pretty nasty. I stopped allowing other pets after that. Birds don't know the difference from rats and rabbits and actual people's pets. I never said they were that bright. I'm actually telling potential customers with toddlers and pet cats not to take any of my larger birds home. I'm not a total scumbag- like some of the other vendors I've seen here today.






      Freshly caught turtles from Inokashira Park make great stocking stuffers

      'Roid Rage on Japan's Beaches

      The first thing I noticed while strolling down the beach this year was the amount of fit Japanese men. In the past, the only muscles you saw were those of foreign military men. They were usually too inept to pick up Japanese women due to their youth and complete lack of Japanese language ability.

      Shonan's pocket-sized Hercules sure have gotten more buff the past couple of years... very suspicious it is.

      Now, on any given day at Shonan, dozens of men with six packs and bulging biceps will be cruising up and down the beach, taking selfies with whoever asks, basking in the admiration. They seem to live for the weekends of July and August when they can strut around shirtless.



      My new friend Ito (35), is natural bodybuilder / powerlifter and regular beach-goer since 2001, filled me in on the hot scoop.

      Ito and his pals look good without steroids!


      I've seen a lot of really buff Japanese guys on the beach this year. What's going on?

      " Do not take their photos! Their egos are too big as it is. I'll send you one. These dipshits in Mori's bodybuilding club are full of shit, Prince, that's what's going on. These punks even can't mention the word steroids. They're all on gear, they'll never fess up though. It would cut down on the 'all-natural' bullshit fake natties use to perpetuate the myths of their superior genetics. They spend more time at the tanning salon than they do in the squat cage! And, Prince, these dudes are also are responsible for demonizing steroid use in Japan in the first place!"

      " We like tough guys. Tough guys with big pecs. Who cares how they got them?!?!"

      You're looking good this year. What's your  workout routine like these days?


      Thanks Prince! I'm an overall good package, chest, shoulders, biceps, lats, traps and calves are great, but my weak points are triceps and forearms.I'd say my upper body is only now in proportion with my legs. If I was to hazard a guess as to why it'd be because I have crazy full quad insertions and extremely low calves with very thick joints. Fingers crossed I don't have daughters- if I do they'll be on the Olympic wrestling team! I'm naturally pretty hairless. I've got a big thick, natural bush. Looks like a troll doll's hair. I don't groom it at all. I believe natural bodybuilders should be ALL natural. Mori's guys are always plucking and shaving each other in the sauna at Gold's- pathetic!

      I've had fags in the locker room tell me they'd like to scrub their face with my pubic hair. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Everything else is pretty average, if not just so so, my chest took years to grow, biceps are short with no peak, abs are slightly asymmetrical and quite narrow.




      That said you can find aesthetic examples of people with the same flaws so I don't over think it. I've never had a body issue because I compare myself with the average Japanese guy, not the average meathead at my gym taking steroids.”

      These day tripping gals from rural Chiba are thrilled after taking dozens of selfies with Mori and his friends. They didn't notice Ito and I chatting nearby

      So you don't care much for Mori and his friends over there?

      " Please! I'd shove a dozen protein bars up Mori's hairless ass- sans lubrication- if he was here alone, and he knows it! Son of a bitch never comes to the beach alone. These guys are fake naturals- and it's an issue worth pointing out, where I absolutely work out just as hard as them. I think it hits to the heart of the single biggest problem in the Japanese fitness industry.

      If we could liberate the industry from fake natural faggots and profiteering on the basis of it, more good useful knowledge would be propagated, less honest guys would be scammed for worthless bodybuilding products, and our self image would overall improve."

      This young tart drank herself into a stupor after comparing her pencil necked BF to the guys in Mori's crew.

      You really hate him, huh?

      "Last year at Gold's, Mori comes up and takes a 5 kilo plate off my bar and puts it on his bar. I just look at him like I'm gonna snap his vascular neck. So I go and take it off his bar before he sets up and put it back on mine while he's on his phone, he's always fucking with his phone. If he's not looking at his phone he's looking at himself in the mirror...Faggot.

      Later, I see that prick squatting the same weight he benched. Bro, it's a squat. Add some weight.


      And then I notice he didn't even re-rack his weights! Motherfucking gym enemy identified!"

      Maybe these guys are suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. You should be more understanding.

      "Fuck'em ! I'll tell ya, these rich kids are full of hot air and use too much hair gel- that's why they won't go near the water here. I'll wear a fucking rag or towel on my head all day long. I don't care about that pretty boy shit. Peter North gets less upset if you touch his hair than those guys."

      Ito's  beach buddies are always horsing around and getting pumped at the same time. Natural bodybuilders and power lifter type guys don't have sexy ladies asking to take selfies with them.


      You have to admit that they look pretty good.

      (Getting red in the face and angry) "I don't have to admit shit! These idiots dehydrate themselves for like 10 hours before they come down to the beach. And, with these temperatures?  They might have a pulmonary embolism or something.They're nuts! I'll kick any of their phony asses from here to the Omotesando Gold's Gym. Leave me alone now, Prince. Your questions are starting to annoy me."

      " You can crack a dozen walnuts in my ass crack. I'll kick Mori's crew's waxed asses and have time for a steak dinner"

      I left Ito and his natural friends alone and thought I'd hook up with them later after they had a few more drinks. I thought that the hot sun, alcohol and jealousy were a bad combination. I hoped he would be OK. His fiery Asian temper had gotten him in hot water on other occasions.

      8:15 PM. Ito got knocked the fuck out by one of Mori's goons for speaking out of turn.

      The night didn't end well. My beach friend Ito had a few too many drinks, and then got fresh with some of Mori's friends at the Malibu Beach Bar. Ito was on the receiving end of a knuckle sandwich and needed to be taken to the hospital overnight with a concussion and a broken jaw. We never got to say goodbye for the summer.



      Ito couldn't speak when I called the following night, due to his jaw being wired shut.


      Neither Mori or any members of his posse agreed to be interviewed for this article.








      These sexy gals from the sticks could give two shits about the either group of bodybuilders.















































































































































































      2016 One Love Jamaican Festival Banned from Yoyogi Park



      Sex and Outrage at the One Love Jamaican Festival 2016










      The dirtiest, skankiest and loosest women in Japan all converge for two glorious days a year, the place is the One Love Jamaican Festival. It had been held in Yoyogi Park since 2002, but sadly, event organizers had to relocate this years festival to Odaiba.

      Shibuya's Department of Parks and Recreation declined the application for this years festival in Yoyogi Park. Reasons were mainly due to the police stopping a 6 man gang bang in the handicapped toilet last year. The men were all foreign nationals and the woman was a Japanese 24 years old part time worker. Large numbers of foreigners openly smoking cannabis was another reason.




      2015- Hiding her head in shame after the police put a stop to her unathorized use of a handicapped toilet. The 24 year old Japanese women's selfishness got the festival banned from Yoyogi Park for the foreseeable future.
      Saturday May 28
      Odaiba seized the opportunity to take on the festival. Unfortunately,  due to it being far from central Tokyo, many of the visitors have to really commit to spending the day in Odaiba if they want to attend. In past years, the number of available men of color and the Japanese women dying to make love with them has been highly unbalanced. Hopefully , the new location will keep many of the lookie loos away, who are usually more attractive than the women seriously looking for a black lover.




      Local men of colour are pampered beyond reason in exchange for sexual attention.

      This year the Bob Marley cover bands were banned as Sony Music Japan was demanding a big royalty fee for the rights to perform the songs. The promoters struck back by having a band on to punish the festival goers. The music consisted of random beats with a seemingly angry and drunken, Jamaican man screaming and shouting obscenities with no rhyme or reason.

      The non black, straight men in attendance went home empty handed- as they should.  I say Fuck them!

      The gals in attendance range from the curious to the heavily tattooed girls who have spent time in Jamaica, NYC or LA in the company of numerous, local dark skinned men. And, the women outnumbered the black men by about 300 to 1!



      Japanese women are well documented to have a strong attraction to Jamaican men.... There were only about 25 true Jamaican men in attendance, the many poseurs ( mostly from Nigeria and the USA) did well anyway.






      Normally cleaning up at the Odaiba festival scene, this local Japanese pick-up artist is having no luck at all today.



      It was great odds for the ugly to below average looking, ethnic gentleman in attendance. The straight white men who dared to show up had their girlfriend fantasizing about the well endowed, well oiled and muscular black men to satisfy her proper. Her fair skinned, lacking in muscle tone, British lover may have more money, but he needs his little pink nipples tweaked to maintain a full erection. White men usually look much better with their Eddie Bauers and Dockers on. I made some new friends, they shared their thoughts with me.



      This Japanese man may as well be invisible. He is 100% the opposite of what these gals are looking for today.

      I saw a few slutty looking, yanqui girls going into the handicapped bathroom with the same couple of Jamaican fellows. One was quite old and the other guy was manning the grill between sessions. I don't think they had an official booth but they set up camp in the middle and were giving food away to sexy ladies and charging everyone else. One of the girls was openly boasting over and over that the old guy gave her the dirtiest of Sanchez's.... I don't even know what that means.



      Japanese women outnumbered the black men by 300 to 1!!!!!

      I met Tomonori Togawa (38) , the portly, friendly manager of Ramsey Snack Bar in Kanagawa. He drove 5 of his cute staff up for a day of music and food in the nice weather.




      My new pal Tomonori "Tomo" Togawa was regretting his trip down.




      “ First of all, Prince, I'd like to say, on the record, that most of the black guys here aren't even real Jamaicans! I suspect that they're some type of African. I tried to get some real Jamaican food but the lines were very long and it was very unhygienic. I saw some guys pissing out of the back of the food stalls. They've got no running water so I know they are not even washing their hands. I've never seen anything like this...."

      So, you're not having a good time?


      "So many of our women with Jungle Fever... It used to be the older and unattractive girls who went with foreigners or blacks, they're getting younger and cuter. At least the ones who go with blacks. I feel as if Japan has truly lost it's innocence today. I'm truly disgusted at what I saw there today. Call me old fashioned but I don't think navel rings, tattoos on a woman's chest, or anywhere else for that matter are attractive- and a lot of these whores were tattooed.”

      Have you met any nice ladies for yourself?


      “ I guess it was pretty stupid to have come here. I bought some of my girls down for some fun. I was getting into it but the music was really bad so I kept pounding the beers and the black guys kept getting my girls emails and taking pics with them. Some of my girls went off with the guys for a while..... I'm not a racialist but I do prefer Japanese music. I don't know what happened but I'm sure my staff won't be satisfied with their Japanese boyfriends and our customers for a good long while. Once I sober up enough to drive back, we're  getting the hell outta here."



      I also met the handsome and wealthy Yuichiro (29) of Hiroo. He and his lovely girlfriend, Mai came down to enjoy the nice weather on their weekly date.






      The 45 minute wait for the luke warm Jerk chicken caused him to lose his girlfriend in the crowd. He wonders where she is and scans the crowd.




      You seem like an open minded guy, coming down here with your sexy girlfriend...



      "I was waiting on line to get the Jerk Chicken and some rice and peas, those are the signature dishes of Jamaica. My girlfriend, Mai, was shopping for some goods while I waited and I lost her in the crowd. I set up a sheet but some yanqui looking guys from Saitama took it over. There are no cops or guards so I just let them have it. A lot of riff raff from the suburbs here today. This chicken isn't even good.... My girlfriend wanted it and I can't even find her now. I just wanna finish this and get out of here, the music is terrible this year, literally just screaming. I'm getting a headache."


      You look like you really enjoy foreign culture.



      "Well,I'm pretty open minded, Prince. I can speak English like a motherfucker, yo! Jay Z and Pherrell are cool.... I like his hat. I would have voted for Obama if I was American. I love these international festivals in Odaiba! It's one of the great things about living in Tokyo. This one is a bit scary though... some rough customers leering at the girls, I wouldn't let my girl come here without me. Too many creeps. Most of these guys are black- and huge."



      It's like shooting fish in a barrel for these gentlemen!

      Yuichiro's sexy girlfriend and Keio University graduate, Mai K. (25) from Chiba was having trouble walking and seemed drunk. After buying her an 1000 yen can of Red Stripe beer she confided in me,



      “ My pencil dicked,dipshit boyfriend was on line to get us some food, so I walked around by myself for a bit. Then, this really old, really dark skinned guy with dreadlocks asked me about my animal print shorts... His accent was so sexy and before I knew it he was leading me into the bathroom for wheelchairs. I think his friends were in on it because they cleared a path and had the room free when he dragged me in. It was so primitive, we were like animals for the 5 minutes we were alone.




      Over 235,000 people attended the 2015 One Love Jamaican Festival! Over 230 Japanese women got laid. 0 Japanese men.




      As usual at the One Love festival, non black men were invisible to the ladies and had to drown their sorrows in overpriced Red Stripe beer.



      I had no idea that giving pleasure could be such a turn on, he didn't even need lube.... I was so horny and the reggae beat in my ears and then he picked up the rhythm. The line of people waiting outside the handicapped bathroom was so naughty that we had to do it quick. When he pulled it from my ass and then our eyes locked. It was so thick, and purple. He unloaded in my mouth and I was grateful for it."





        Mai's dirty feet are a testament to what went on the the handicapped bathroom with the dreadlocked, 60 something year old Jamaican fellow... She will remember this day forever, he will forget by the morning.

      Mai adds,  "He then  commanded me to eat his ashy ass. I've never done that, as I never respect Yuichiro or the Japanese guys I'm with. But I did it and I liked it. It tasted like carrots and onions, but I was oddly excited by it... I've never been fucked like that. I didn't know it was possible. I lost my Jamaican flag sandals in the bathroom... I'm confused now”.



      Ichiro and a tipsy Mai went home at 6:30. What Ichiro does not know will not hurt him.




      Sunday, May 29








      The lines were longer and the food was much worse than usual.
      Since it's humble Osaka beginnings in 1964, this annual event helps build romantic or just sexual relations between Jamaican men and Japanese women. This was the 49th anniversary of sanctioned carnal relations between the two very different countries.  For the purpose of friendship and good sex between Japan and Jamaica, "One Love Jamaica Festival" is an event originating from the testiclesof Jamaica.
      It is an historic event.







      Japanese women have earned the power to be picky after a decade of games & sexual abuse at the Jamaican Festival.
      Tokyo's black male population was in for a rude awaking at this year's festival in the lively Odaiba.  There was a zero tolerance policy against smoking Marijuana. To make matters worse, the word must have gotten out about the easy pickings at last year's event. The Black men to Japanese women ratio was the highest on record. Official estimates think there were only 2 attractive Japanese women to every black gentleman on the prowl for easy pussy. In past years it was as high as 20 to 1- favoring the men!







      Not only is this poor man's Anthony Bourdain outraged at the inauthentic Jamaican cuisine, not one woman has shown any interest even after 6 years of coming to the festival.
      There were some interesting Jamaican dancers, reggae cover bands and some special guest speakers who addressed such hot topics as, "Housing discrimination for blacks in Japan", "Japan's ridiculous laws and punishment regarding Marijuana" and the very sexy,"The lack of condoms big enough for foreign black men in Japan, and it's implications in the spreading of STDs". 





      The guest speakers had Jamaican dance hall routines between them throughout the day by some very, very sexy Japanese and black ladies.








      Brazen Nigerian PUA's scam on these local gals right in front of their terrified boyfriends.







      Besides the many Bob Marley cover bands, the most popular event was a great and very heated panel discussion on, "Men from Africapretending to be from The US or Jamaica to get laid in Japan."







      Mackin' backstage with 2 cuties, this shirtless local stud made the foreign men's blood boil.








      My favorite speaker was Tokyo based, guerrilla travel agent, Monte Monroe (54). His controversial lecture was in English and not understood by 90% of the audience "Sex, Tourism and Post Colonial Encounters in Jamaica".  He made some very good points that in order for Jamaica to thrive the sex/ romance tourism industry must be expanded to target Japanese men. Sex/ Romance tourism in Jamaica is huge and a much larger part of the mainstream tourist industry than many want to admit to.






      Monte's lecture included such great info as,





      "The majority of Kingston's million poor people tend to be hostile and unfriendly towards white-skinned people who they usually regard as colonist and imperialist oppressors- unless they are buying something from them. They don't seem to behostile towards the Japanese or Asians in general, since they didn't own slaves.  Japanese men will be welcomed with open arms and there are many great sexual values to be had that are on par with Thailand or the Philippines.





      There are lots of street beggars who aggressively harass anyone who doesn't look poor. Stay away from the fat, aggressive street hookers in 'New Kingston', many of whom are quite poor and quite dangerous."







      For female Japanese romance tourists  he advised,





      " Never give them your real Email or home address. They will soon ask you for money and try to visit Japan at your expense.Stay away from the too handsome guys, drug addicts or men with harsh, pushy, or impatient personalities, You are sure to be very disappointed with their service.





      If a 'rental dread' is not willing to go down on you, as you can ascertain through casual conversation or proposition, leave him alone. It is a sure sign that he has sexual hang-ups and won't give you a good time. If you are going to Jamaica by a tourist package, find out your hotel's policy concerning local 'guests' before you pay and go."






      Monte's mic was turned off by event organizers after about 3 minutes. This was due to the boos he got by native English speakers in attendance.
      Leroy, whose hair has not been washed since 1985, had his ass eaten by a sexy stranger here last year and paid for it dearly.



      My new friend and Negril native, LeRoy Jenkins (70)  has been in Tokyo for 21 years. He imports Jamaican-themed tchochkes that he finds in China. His shop was in the Nakano Broadway Mall until he retired last April.
      Oh mon, yesterday, dis dirty bitch. I'ma workin ova deh suh, she follow me into the toilet likes a little lost dog. I dunno why she follow me. She must be about 30 or maybe 40 year younger than me, mon. Then she present herself for me and even eat me dirty ass, mon. What is dat, mon? A nice lady from Jamaica don't do dis. Japanese ladies like to eat complete stranger's dirty ass? I'ma shock by dis. Me not accustomed to dat in me homeland, mon."
      Was her name Mai?
      " Maybe it was. I shoulda know dat she's a dirty bitch as me got  da Chlymidia  from dis' mornin' . Me hose had da discharge, and pissin' da razor blades. And had to go to da clinic. She say to me she got da latex allergy. I'm try to use da condom, mon. I fuck her ass like she axe me to, mon. Dis day if anyone wanna link up, me not gonna make da same mistakes dis year.”



      This sexy lady in the jumpsuit actually chose the company of a Japanese trustafarian over real dreadlocked black men!
      Horny, lonely and unattractive Japanese women have been going to Bali for romance since the early 1980's. Thanks to the Jamaican festival relocating to Odaiba in 2016, things are changing. Female sex tourists have dropped by 10% to Bali and that 10% is now going to Jamaica to fulfill their carnal desires. North American (and some European) women have been flocking to Jamaica since the 1960's looking for some good holiday dick.






      Jamaican men's long locks, masculinity, virility and the muscular physique. It was a combination of the masculine and feminine, it is the Yin and Yang visually. The dreads symbolize a masculine energy. And many Japanese men at the festival had a form of dreads to give themselves this image.



      Horny Japanese women seeking black companionship were still here, just way choosier than in past years.
      The Jamaican tourist booth is buzzing with lonely Japanese housewives and single ladies longing to be loved, even if just for a few days. A dreadlocked, well-endowed black man is in many ways more appealing than the traditional little, Indonesian surfer boys who service tens of thousands of Japanese women every year.



      If you enter just about any club or bar in Roppongi, you find local ladies with African guys claiming to be Jamaican, all over them dancing in seductive or downright rude style and having a good time.



      “Romance tourism” overcomplicates what the motives of sex tourists are. LeRoy Jenkins- who has a Japanese wife, explained to me that concepts like "romance tourism" are only representative of small niches, like that of Jamaica and its cultural beliefs. 




      LeRoy charms the ladies, young and old alike.
      Through his observations, he concludes that the majority of female sex tourists are solely touring for physical encounters and not romance. LeRoy continues his argument by saying that,




      Der are only two types of blacks,  Jamaicans and those who wish dey was Jamaican. In Jamaica, dem tourist and black beach boys may define der relationships as one of da romance, but in da reality, da relationship is jus' da prostitution, mon.”
      These dancers on their break backstage could give 2 shits about me or LeRoy trying to chat them up.





      The Jar Jar Binks soundalike, LeRoy got me VIP access. We met two non-English speaking, sexy Japanese- Jamaican Dancehall queensbackstage during their break. They've dated African men in Japan and been burned by their womanizing and demanding to either go Dutch, or flat out refusing to pay for anything. They've sworn off them for good and are now only dating wealthy or very cool Japanese men. They were more interested in their iPhones than talking to us so we left.




      LeRoy was not used to such a blatant lack of interest and was left shaking his head in disbelief.
      Not a flying fuck was given by this time traveling samurai chatting up a local lady.



      The real attractive Japanese ladies that any foreign man would actually want to treat himself to were way pickier than usual, and acting as would be expected when the laws of economics are applied. It's becoming a crisis for black men in Tokyo.  They are having to settle for less and less attractive Japanese women.







      Color these two foxy ladies unimpressed with the talent. They're getting the hell outta Dodge!






      Black men are longer in favor here, as documented by the very handsome Jamaican, Stefhan Bryan.  His outdated book about how easy it was for black men to get laid in Japan had inspired many to move here. The reality of today's Japan is that white foreigners have been out of fashion as boyfriends/sex friends since around 2005 (unless they're involved in banking). Blacks are falling fast. Sadly, the popularity of hunky Korean men may soon be in jeopardy as well.







      2013. Times have changed. This incredibly charming foreign man is having a hard time maintaining the interest of these two plain Janes.





      Travel agent Monte was very disappointed in the scene today. He is unable to hold any woman's interest for more than 10 seconds today. Last year he had 5 very attractive women begging for his attention. He chose a stunning 30 year old actress who was married to amuch older Japanese tycoon.






      "She probably held a master's degree in cock sucking and was more then willing to let me fuck her in the ass. The next day she cooked me breakfasts and treated me like a king. Shit, it looks like the party in Tokyo may finally be over."








      Unlike past year's festival, these two gals came here to eat and drink- not to get laid.