KISS disrespects Japan's number one Kiss tribute band

KISS takes money from the Tokyo fans one last time.



KISS Haneta, the former number one KISS tribute band in Japan, and one of the best in Asia, made a public appearance at Tokyo Dome as special guests of the band.



"We were voted the best KISS makeup era tribute in Japan in 2010 through 2015, then again in 2018 by the KISS Army Japan. We got fucked over this year by that dumb comedy tribute, Gene Simmonz Cherry Red Asshole this year. The Japanese KISS fans spoke and we need to respect their decision, but it's bullshit."



Hiroshi Hoshi-Ko ( Ace) whines.



" For starters, GENE SIMMONZ Cherry Red Asshole? They don't even play any instruments and there's only two of them! What the fuck is that nonsense? I feel it's disrespectful to the Catman and Spaceman characters. We pay a full tribute, not a half assed, zany one.


I admit that I fucked up and used a white, Tommy Thayer signed Epiphone Les Paul when one of the Lieutenants from the KISS Army Japan was at our show in Fukuoka. It was very irresponsible of me. He mentioned it after the show and said we need to stay consistent with era authenticity to hold our title. I bought that guitar on the 2017 KISS Kruise and only used it that one show.  Just that one time..."



Rich, spoiled families like this got to attend the full service VIP meet and greet thanks the their dad's job at some investment bank. They probably only stayed an hour anyway.



"The KISS Kruise VII was so fun, I took a selfie with famous KISS writer, Julian Gill from @kissfaq on that Kruise. He was much heavier than I expected and sounds all academic and British or something- maybe just well educated. That guy must be rich from all the KISS books he writes though. I bet he got an actual Paul Stanley Washburn stage used, signed guitar and meet and greet for up to three people and four additional items signed. That package was almost $20,000. Tommy's was just $2800. New ones are only worth about $350, but I owed it to Tommy."



Hiroshi and KISS Haneta had a good laugh posing for photos with fans outside Tokyo Dome.


"Last week, the Japan KISS tour management sent us an email inviting us to come hang out before the show, the invite didn't include transportation from Kobe though, so we spent about $300 each to get up here on the shinkansen. The hotel also was our responsibility. We also had to take a couple days off from work cause it was a Tuesday."



The sexy ladies had more interest in buying official goods and selfies than pics with KISS hatena.



"We got into town and went straight to our rooms so we could get dressed up and go to the official tour goods line to meet and greet the fans, some of those pathetic fucks had been waiting in the cold since 7AM! We did get a famous porn star who wanted a pic with the full band, Minato Riku. She loves KISS. She said she'll follow us on Twitter. But she hasn't even put the pic up on her Instagram. Fucking pig bitch.



We're the best tribute in Japan for sure. My costume is an exact replica of the 1977 Love Gun tour one that Ace used. I mean exact! Custom made by one of the best tailors in Kobe. I'm even almost the same size as Ace was back then. Although the real Ace is quite juicy now, I've been maintaining my weight through keto an intermittent fasting. It' ain't easy keeping a 30 inch waist at 53 years old, Prince."



Quite a few ladies wanted photos for Instagram with Hiroshi and the band. None wanted to exchange contact info though.


2019 KISS Army Japan Best Makeup Era Tribute band, GENE SIMMONZ Cherry Red Asshole, are more of a comedy act than a proper tribute. They do a silly melody of the hits with a karaoke machine and a lot of Paul's onstage banter and moves, a mix of broken English and Japanese. Their act is only 15 minutes long (KISS Haneta do up to 90). It's said they do quite well as an opening act at many smaller rock shows in the greater Tokyo area. In addition to their 30k Twitter followers, they also make quite a bit of money from T-shirt sales. The materialistic Japanese rock fans love merchandise more than the music.


2019 KISS ARMY Japan Best Makeup Era Tribute band, GENE SIMMONZ Cherry Red Asshole are more of a comedy act than a proper tribute. They had a small line of fans waiting for photos and were selling their own T shirts for $25.


"It was disappointing to see the other tribute bands were here as well. I understand Gene Simmonz Cherry Red Asshole, but why were shitty #KISS-ZA! and The Elders there? The Elders are fucking weak as fuck, man. They don't even match the eras correctly. Their Gene wears a fucking Star Wars Jawa costume, and their Ace is in the Destroyer tour costume, and he sometimes wears Vinnie Vincent make-up with it! What the fuck is that?  That old queen,Vinnie Vincent looks like an old woman now anyway, no one will address it though. Why not?




And their Paul Stanley, Shintaro? He's over 60 and looks like he has AIDS and wears black Chuck Taylor's on stage cause he has a bone spur. Bunch of poseurs. I admit, he does have a good voice and they do some deep cuts from the 80's during encores though. I'm sorry for their lame fans. Not a very authentic tribute."



The Elders got first class, backstage treatment. Courtesy of KISS



"Gen-chan, who plays Gene in the Elders somehow finagled his way backstage. Why they do a theatrical tribute to that album that even KISS fans hate is beyond me. Gen-chan, he's one short bastard, but speaks good English so he probably made some calls pretending to be someone else. Fucking pushy prick, just like the real Gene I guess. Gen-chan is good at pushing himself on Facebook though. The Three Sides of the Coin podcast guys give him likes all the time. You know I even bought Gene's The Vault box set for two grand and went to the event in LA last January. That's how I spent my annual one week vacation from the post office. "



These ladies probably had no luck getting backstage to satisfy Gene Simmons.



"Gene was so-so super cool to me while signing my vault and told me how much he used to love Japanese pussy. He said the girls would line up outside his room back on the 1970's tours. I think he mumbled something about Japanese guys having small cocks and lasting only 2 minutes, I was so mesmerized I just agreed with everything he said. I got pushed along after about 30 seconds. I'm not saying he's racist, but he spent a lot more time with the white fans, especially if there was woman in the group.  The Vault weighs 17.5 kilos so it cost me about $900 extra to bring it back to Japan on Delta."



The Gene Simmons Vault cost Hiroshi $2000 and $900 to get back to Tokyo.



Hirotaka "Rocketman" Imai, #KISS-Za!'s Ace actually sings 2000 Man and Hard Times from 1979. Yet his costume is from the 1977 era. He had more attractive ladies taking photos than KISS Hatena.



These two fans have no business wearing the facepaint. I doubt they've even heard of Mark St. John or Bob Kulick.



Sadly, most of the sexy ladies interested in photos with KISS Haneta hit their peak the same time as the Dynasty LP- 1979!



"It's quite sad to say, but I've never been laid as an Ace impersonator. No one in the band has. I played Mick Mars in a Mötley Crüe tribute and got a couple blow jobs from old drunk chicks after shows. Those shows were out in the sticks though an I'm sure I'm the coolest guy they could ever hook up with anyway. I think one show was out in Saga prefecture and the other maybe in Obihiro, up in Hokkaido. I'm sure the actual Tommy Thayer busts nuts with fans all the time with younger, casual fans who don't understand he's just a glorified understudy for the real Ace Frehley. It's sad.




Hell, I would do it, but I'm Asian and I don't think it would look good for KISS when we are interviewed out of make up. I could do it for sure though. I'm sloppy like Ace, Tommy is more of a technician and boring. Did you know Ace also hates Tommy? He really should have insisted on developing his own character and not be the Spaceman character again. I would have changed it."



These two fossils probably went to the Budokan show in '77.



Many soldiers from worldwide KISS Armies attended the last show ever in Tokyo.




"We got recognized by two captains from the Austrian KISS Army. That was pretty cool. Europe has a very strong KISS tribute scene. We even went to Germany in 2013 for a tribute band festival. We were the only Japanese KISS tribute there. I doubt lame-ass #KISS-Za! or The Elders even have passports. We Japanese have the strongest rock tribute bands in Asia other than the Philippines, most of their bands are too poor to go anywhere though."



6:49 PM, Hiroshi's name was not on the list...



The end of the meet and greet was a bit of a clusterfuck. No one from KISS Haneta was on the guest list as promised in the email.



"If I had to guess I would say those pranksters from GENE SIMMONZ ASSHOLE pulled a fast one on us. Someone set up a KISSJAPANTOURBOSS2019@Gmail.com account and mailed us. They promised tickets, official KISS gift baskets and backstage passes. Also the after party at the Park Hyatt in Shinjuku to hang out with the band, crew and KISS ARMY Japan officials. We tried to crash the after party and it wasn't even there. I later saw KISS were staying at the Hilton! Gen-chan put it on his Instagram today. He had selfies with Sophie Simmons, Eric, Yoshiki and Doc McGee.



All we had to do was get to Tokyo Dome and meet fans in our costumes and full makeup at the merchandise line from noon to 6:50 PM. Then we would go pick up our tickets and backstage passes at the Will Call window. The staff at Will Call had none of our names on the list and refused to call the tour management backstage. The fat guardman threatened to have me arrested for trespassing if we didn't leave the area immediately. This was all 10 minutes before KISS hit the stage. Someone had a good laugh at our expense.


We got royally fucked. I was humiliated to the point that my entire manhood was destroyed. We all ended up buying same day tickets at $120 each way in the back. Those seats sucked and all the floor seats were sold out. We must have looked like assholes- all dressed to kill in the cheap seats.

With all the hassle we missed the first 3 songs too."



FUCK KISS, Tommy Thayer, GENE SIMMONZ Cherry Red Asshole, The Elders, #KISS -Za!, Minato Riku and especially the KISS Army Japan. Kiss Haneta deserved more respect than that, and didn't stand for 7 hours in the cold posing for photos at great expense to be mocked. 

Tokyo's Exotic Pet Show Cashes in on Post Xmas Rush




Last week The Tokyo International Forum hosted the Tokyo Exotic Pet Show. Unlike the white man, Japanese like to spend their money on New Year sales. The timing was chosen for people looking for an interesting pet to give their loved ones this holiday season. Nothing says " I care about you" as much as an actual living, difficult to take care of, exotic pet as a gift.

I bumped into my old friend Satoru Ishii (32), owner of the Flappy Birds Cafe. He now has a dead eyed lack of soul. He also had lost a lot of weight and had aged quite a bit since opening the cafe in early 2014.

Satoru has a way with the birds.






Hey, Satoru, the beastmaster! Long time, no see!


Liquidation sale on all my owls, Prince. 50% off. The Flappy Birds Cafe went under last month and I've been storing all these fuckers in my mom's spare room. The show here a good chance to offload these things. Also, since I got these things I've had a really bad case of phimosis. I'm pretty sure it's connected cause it got better when I had influenza last year and kept away from the shop for 10 days. That shit came back the same day I returned to work. I really hate to get rid of them but owls are really trendy right now, and I need  the cash badly.

I'm coming close to some sales and I've got some of these random assholes trying to talk their friends – and even strangers out of taking one. I'd like to strangle those motherfuckers! I need dough like anyone. I'm in debt up to my hairless asshole, Prince!



Why can't your mother keep them in her place in Ibarakai?



Well, she's old and deaf, but these things screech and shit all night, the neighbors have been complaining and they've gotta go. Also, I need to get rats and rabbits to feed them every night- that adds up. It's like a goddamn battle ground in there, blood and guts sprayed all over the place.





"Owls are great pets, even in small Tokyo apartments"






I've got tarps and plastic up everywhere and it still reeks! I  tried to let a couple go, but they just hung around the neighborhood and attacked small dogs and killed all the crows and a few stray cats, the crows and cats were fine, but the neighborhood association was very upset about the dogs. I had to take them back in before someone killed one. These people up there don't have guns, but they're good archers.

You invested a lot in the place and the owls, I can't believe you're getting rid of them.





Believe it!
I'm in serious debt, Prince. The bank can't repossess animals, so I rented out this section of the show to display and sell my birds and make some quick cash. I also got a bunch of falconry volunteers from Tsukba University to help handle them for the show.







This potential buyer is on the fence. Satoru's charm will get her to buy!





My aim with the Flappy Birds Cafe was the education of urbanites of Tokyo and surrounding areas about owls and their way of life. At today's event I'll also have some educational material on owls, and the attendees will be briefed on why owls are great as pets.



Some shady vendors were even trying to sell ants and turtles they caught in Yoyogi Park!





The profits from the sales today will go to an owl sanctuary working for the species’ conservation- if I make back my investment. Oh, there is no chicken at this event today, they are serving only beef and pork out of respect for our fine feathered friends. That was my idea. Owls are smart as fuck and can sense that shit.

Japanese animal lovers will even keep crows as pets.

I'll find someone to take these if they're cheap enough. Shit, I saw some fat cunt selling a crow for like 200,000 yen over there- granted it did have some white in it.

Owls sound like they'd be awful pets. Are they legal?


Oh, yes. Completely 100% legal. Japan has absolutely no laws about keeping any animal as a pet. Anything is OK, even a rhino if you want. Owls will require 3-5 hours of care a day to keep healthy though- I'm telling the potential buyers it's a lot easier. Once they get attached they won't mind.

If you can tame this tanuki, it might be a cool pet to show off.







A few years ago some old cunt in Tochigi had a pet orangutan- totally legal, but the city got involved when it got free and killed a bunch of dogs in the public parks dog run. Just those little shit dogs, Chihuahuas and dachshunds. The type Japanese women keep as toys. Scared the hell out of the owners, they ran off screaming for their lives while the giant ape tore through the dumb dogs. Cops got involved cause you're not allowed to let them run free in public. He also had to pay the dog owners for punitive damages.

"Owls are great gifts for the special lady in your life."




Why did the Flappy Birds Cafe close?

Why?!?! Godamn Mayor Yuriko Koike is why! Shit was going OK until she got in office and fucked my shit up. Now we have a broad in office, the city is all severe about following the rules before the Olympics. Fuck the Olympics! I've got a business to run. They said I gotta have the birds put away by 7pm everyday!





No reason not to charm the female volunteers during the fire sale.





How can I run a business that closes at 7? The Angry Birds movie bombing also was a factor, I guess. I really thought it was going to drive business up. They released it in Japan with subtitles. Who does that? Who decides to release a foreign children's film with subtitles?

That's fucked up.

These birds are awake all night anyway, they're nocturnal and sleep all day. As far as the public was aware, my owl cafe was raising money for barn owl rehabilitation, haha! And, I said we used only ambassador birds. They are supposed to be under care and supervision of a professional falconer – me, the whole time. It seemed like I did my homework and was looking out for the owls.






Satoru's competition are selling owls for way more!





Also, one of the birds attacked a small dog in front of a full house. It was pretty nasty. I stopped allowing other pets after that. Birds don't know the difference from rats and rabbits and actual people's pets. I never said they were that bright. I'm actually telling potential customers with toddlers and pet cats not to take any of my larger birds home. I'm not a total scumbag- like some of the other vendors I've seen here today.






Freshly caught turtles from Inokashira Park make great stocking stuffers

'Roid Rage on Japan's Beaches

The first thing I noticed while strolling down the beach this year was the amount of fit Japanese men. In the past, the only muscles you saw were those of foreign military men. They were usually too inept to pick up Japanese women due to their youth and complete lack of Japanese language ability.

Shonan's pocket-sized Hercules sure have gotten more buff the past couple of years... very suspicious it is.

Now, on any given day at Shonan, dozens of men with six packs and bulging biceps will be cruising up and down the beach, taking selfies with whoever asks, basking in the admiration. They seem to live for the weekends of July and August when they can strut around shirtless.



My new friend Ito (35), is natural bodybuilder / powerlifter and regular beach-goer since 2001, filled me in on the hot scoop.

Ito and his pals look good without steroids!


I've seen a lot of really buff Japanese guys on the beach this year. What's going on?

" Do not take their photos! Their egos are too big as it is. I'll send you one. These dipshits in Mori's bodybuilding club are full of shit, Prince, that's what's going on. These punks even can't mention the word steroids. They're all on gear, they'll never fess up though. It would cut down on the 'all-natural' bullshit fake natties use to perpetuate the myths of their superior genetics. They spend more time at the tanning salon than they do in the squat cage! And, Prince, these dudes are also are responsible for demonizing steroid use in Japan in the first place!"

" We like tough guys. Tough guys with big pecs. Who cares how they got them?!?!"

You're looking good this year. What's your  workout routine like these days?


Thanks Prince! I'm an overall good package, chest, shoulders, biceps, lats, traps and calves are great, but my weak points are triceps and forearms.I'd say my upper body is only now in proportion with my legs. If I was to hazard a guess as to why it'd be because I have crazy full quad insertions and extremely low calves with very thick joints. Fingers crossed I don't have daughters- if I do they'll be on the Olympic wrestling team! I'm naturally pretty hairless. I've got a big thick, natural bush. Looks like a troll doll's hair. I don't groom it at all. I believe natural bodybuilders should be ALL natural. Mori's guys are always plucking and shaving each other in the sauna at Gold's- pathetic!

I've had fags in the locker room tell me they'd like to scrub their face with my pubic hair. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Everything else is pretty average, if not just so so, my chest took years to grow, biceps are short with no peak, abs are slightly asymmetrical and quite narrow.




That said you can find aesthetic examples of people with the same flaws so I don't over think it. I've never had a body issue because I compare myself with the average Japanese guy, not the average meathead at my gym taking steroids.”

These day tripping gals from rural Chiba are thrilled after taking dozens of selfies with Mori and his friends. They didn't notice Ito and I chatting nearby

So you don't care much for Mori and his friends over there?

" Please! I'd shove a dozen protein bars up Mori's hairless ass- sans lubrication- if he was here alone, and he knows it! Son of a bitch never comes to the beach alone. These guys are fake naturals- and it's an issue worth pointing out, where I absolutely work out just as hard as them. I think it hits to the heart of the single biggest problem in the Japanese fitness industry.

If we could liberate the industry from fake natural faggots and profiteering on the basis of it, more good useful knowledge would be propagated, less honest guys would be scammed for worthless bodybuilding products, and our self image would overall improve."

This young tart drank herself into a stupor after comparing her pencil necked BF to the guys in Mori's crew.

You really hate him, huh?

"Last year at Gold's, Mori comes up and takes a 5 kilo plate off my bar and puts it on his bar. I just look at him like I'm gonna snap his vascular neck. So I go and take it off his bar before he sets up and put it back on mine while he's on his phone, he's always fucking with his phone. If he's not looking at his phone he's looking at himself in the mirror...Faggot.

Later, I see that prick squatting the same weight he benched. Bro, it's a squat. Add some weight.


And then I notice he didn't even re-rack his weights! Motherfucking gym enemy identified!"

Maybe these guys are suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. You should be more understanding.

"Fuck'em ! I'll tell ya, these rich kids are full of hot air and use too much hair gel- that's why they won't go near the water here. I'll wear a fucking rag or towel on my head all day long. I don't care about that pretty boy shit. Peter North gets less upset if you touch his hair than those guys."

Ito's  beach buddies are always horsing around and getting pumped at the same time. Natural bodybuilders and power lifter type guys don't have sexy ladies asking to take selfies with them.


You have to admit that they look pretty good.

(Getting red in the face and angry) "I don't have to admit shit! These idiots dehydrate themselves for like 10 hours before they come down to the beach. And, with these temperatures?  They might have a pulmonary embolism or something.They're nuts! I'll kick any of their phony asses from here to the Omotesando Gold's Gym. Leave me alone now, Prince. Your questions are starting to annoy me."

" You can crack a dozen walnuts in my ass crack. I'll kick Mori's crew's waxed asses and have time for a steak dinner"

I left Ito and his natural friends alone and thought I'd hook up with them later after they had a few more drinks. I thought that the hot sun, alcohol and jealousy were a bad combination. I hoped he would be OK. His fiery Asian temper had gotten him in hot water on other occasions.

8:15 PM. Ito got knocked the fuck out by one of Mori's goons for speaking out of turn.

The night didn't end well. My beach friend Ito had a few too many drinks, and then got fresh with some of Mori's friends at the Malibu Beach Bar. Ito was on the receiving end of a knuckle sandwich and needed to be taken to the hospital overnight with a concussion and a broken jaw. We never got to say goodbye for the summer.



Ito couldn't speak when I called the following night, due to his jaw being wired shut.


Neither Mori or any members of his posse agreed to be interviewed for this article.








These sexy gals from the sticks could give two shits about the either group of bodybuilders.















































































































































































2016 One Love Jamaican Festival Banned from Yoyogi Park



Sex and Outrage at the One Love Jamaican Festival 2016










The dirtiest, skankiest and loosest women in Japan all converge for two glorious days a year, the place is the One Love Jamaican Festival. It had been held in Yoyogi Park since 2002, but sadly, event organizers had to relocate this years festival to Odaiba.

Shibuya's Department of Parks and Recreation declined the application for this years festival in Yoyogi Park. Reasons were mainly due to the police stopping a 6 man gang bang in the handicapped toilet last year. The men were all foreign nationals and the woman was a Japanese 24 years old part time worker. Large numbers of foreigners openly smoking cannabis was another reason.




2015- Hiding her head in shame after the police put a stop to her unathorized use of a handicapped toilet. The 24 year old Japanese women's selfishness got the festival banned from Yoyogi Park for the foreseeable future.
Saturday May 28
Odaiba seized the opportunity to take on the festival. Unfortunately,  due to it being far from central Tokyo, many of the visitors have to really commit to spending the day in Odaiba if they want to attend. In past years, the number of available men of color and the Japanese women dying to make love with them has been highly unbalanced. Hopefully , the new location will keep many of the lookie loos away, who are usually more attractive than the women seriously looking for a black lover.




Local men of colour are pampered beyond reason in exchange for sexual attention.

This year the Bob Marley cover bands were banned as Sony Music Japan was demanding a big royalty fee for the rights to perform the songs. The promoters struck back by having a band on to punish the festival goers. The music consisted of random beats with a seemingly angry and drunken, Jamaican man screaming and shouting obscenities with no rhyme or reason.

The non black, straight men in attendance went home empty handed- as they should.  I say Fuck them!

The gals in attendance range from the curious to the heavily tattooed girls who have spent time in Jamaica, NYC or LA in the company of numerous, local dark skinned men. And, the women outnumbered the black men by about 300 to 1!



Japanese women are well documented to have a strong attraction to Jamaican men.... There were only about 25 true Jamaican men in attendance, the many poseurs ( mostly from Nigeria and the USA) did well anyway.






Normally cleaning up at the Odaiba festival scene, this local Japanese pick-up artist is having no luck at all today.



It was great odds for the ugly to below average looking, ethnic gentleman in attendance. The straight white men who dared to show up had their girlfriend fantasizing about the well endowed, well oiled and muscular black men to satisfy her proper. Her fair skinned, lacking in muscle tone, British lover may have more money, but he needs his little pink nipples tweaked to maintain a full erection. White men usually look much better with their Eddie Bauers and Dockers on. I made some new friends, they shared their thoughts with me.



This Japanese man may as well be invisible. He is 100% the opposite of what these gals are looking for today.

I saw a few slutty looking, yanqui girls going into the handicapped bathroom with the same couple of Jamaican fellows. One was quite old and the other guy was manning the grill between sessions. I don't think they had an official booth but they set up camp in the middle and were giving food away to sexy ladies and charging everyone else. One of the girls was openly boasting over and over that the old guy gave her the dirtiest of Sanchez's.... I don't even know what that means.



Japanese women outnumbered the black men by 300 to 1!!!!!

I met Tomonori Togawa (38) , the portly, friendly manager of Ramsey Snack Bar in Kanagawa. He drove 5 of his cute staff up for a day of music and food in the nice weather.




My new pal Tomonori "Tomo" Togawa was regretting his trip down.




“ First of all, Prince, I'd like to say, on the record, that most of the black guys here aren't even real Jamaicans! I suspect that they're some type of African. I tried to get some real Jamaican food but the lines were very long and it was very unhygienic. I saw some guys pissing out of the back of the food stalls. They've got no running water so I know they are not even washing their hands. I've never seen anything like this...."

So, you're not having a good time?


"So many of our women with Jungle Fever... It used to be the older and unattractive girls who went with foreigners or blacks, they're getting younger and cuter. At least the ones who go with blacks. I feel as if Japan has truly lost it's innocence today. I'm truly disgusted at what I saw there today. Call me old fashioned but I don't think navel rings, tattoos on a woman's chest, or anywhere else for that matter are attractive- and a lot of these whores were tattooed.”

Have you met any nice ladies for yourself?


“ I guess it was pretty stupid to have come here. I bought some of my girls down for some fun. I was getting into it but the music was really bad so I kept pounding the beers and the black guys kept getting my girls emails and taking pics with them. Some of my girls went off with the guys for a while..... I'm not a racialist but I do prefer Japanese music. I don't know what happened but I'm sure my staff won't be satisfied with their Japanese boyfriends and our customers for a good long while. Once I sober up enough to drive back, we're  getting the hell outta here."



I also met the handsome and wealthy Yuichiro (29) of Hiroo. He and his lovely girlfriend, Mai came down to enjoy the nice weather on their weekly date.






The 45 minute wait for the luke warm Jerk chicken caused him to lose his girlfriend in the crowd. He wonders where she is and scans the crowd.




You seem like an open minded guy, coming down here with your sexy girlfriend...



"I was waiting on line to get the Jerk Chicken and some rice and peas, those are the signature dishes of Jamaica. My girlfriend, Mai, was shopping for some goods while I waited and I lost her in the crowd. I set up a sheet but some yanqui looking guys from Saitama took it over. There are no cops or guards so I just let them have it. A lot of riff raff from the suburbs here today. This chicken isn't even good.... My girlfriend wanted it and I can't even find her now. I just wanna finish this and get out of here, the music is terrible this year, literally just screaming. I'm getting a headache."


You look like you really enjoy foreign culture.



"Well,I'm pretty open minded, Prince. I can speak English like a motherfucker, yo! Jay Z and Pherrell are cool.... I like his hat. I would have voted for Obama if I was American. I love these international festivals in Odaiba! It's one of the great things about living in Tokyo. This one is a bit scary though... some rough customers leering at the girls, I wouldn't let my girl come here without me. Too many creeps. Most of these guys are black- and huge."



It's like shooting fish in a barrel for these gentlemen!

Yuichiro's sexy girlfriend and Keio University graduate, Mai K. (25) from Chiba was having trouble walking and seemed drunk. After buying her an 1000 yen can of Red Stripe beer she confided in me,



“ My pencil dicked,dipshit boyfriend was on line to get us some food, so I walked around by myself for a bit. Then, this really old, really dark skinned guy with dreadlocks asked me about my animal print shorts... His accent was so sexy and before I knew it he was leading me into the bathroom for wheelchairs. I think his friends were in on it because they cleared a path and had the room free when he dragged me in. It was so primitive, we were like animals for the 5 minutes we were alone.




Over 235,000 people attended the 2015 One Love Jamaican Festival! Over 230 Japanese women got laid. 0 Japanese men.




As usual at the One Love festival, non black men were invisible to the ladies and had to drown their sorrows in overpriced Red Stripe beer.



I had no idea that giving pleasure could be such a turn on, he didn't even need lube.... I was so horny and the reggae beat in my ears and then he picked up the rhythm. The line of people waiting outside the handicapped bathroom was so naughty that we had to do it quick. When he pulled it from my ass and then our eyes locked. It was so thick, and purple. He unloaded in my mouth and I was grateful for it."





  Mai's dirty feet are a testament to what went on the the handicapped bathroom with the dreadlocked, 60 something year old Jamaican fellow... She will remember this day forever, he will forget by the morning.

Mai adds,  "He then  commanded me to eat his ashy ass. I've never done that, as I never respect Yuichiro or the Japanese guys I'm with. But I did it and I liked it. It tasted like carrots and onions, but I was oddly excited by it... I've never been fucked like that. I didn't know it was possible. I lost my Jamaican flag sandals in the bathroom... I'm confused now”.



Ichiro and a tipsy Mai went home at 6:30. What Ichiro does not know will not hurt him.




Sunday, May 29








The lines were longer and the food was much worse than usual.
Since it's humble Osaka beginnings in 1964, this annual event helps build romantic or just sexual relations between Jamaican men and Japanese women. This was the 49th anniversary of sanctioned carnal relations between the two very different countries.  For the purpose of friendship and good sex between Japan and Jamaica, "One Love Jamaica Festival" is an event originating from the testiclesof Jamaica.
It is an historic event.







Japanese women have earned the power to be picky after a decade of games & sexual abuse at the Jamaican Festival.
Tokyo's black male population was in for a rude awaking at this year's festival in the lively Odaiba.  There was a zero tolerance policy against smoking Marijuana. To make matters worse, the word must have gotten out about the easy pickings at last year's event. The Black men to Japanese women ratio was the highest on record. Official estimates think there were only 2 attractive Japanese women to every black gentleman on the prowl for easy pussy. In past years it was as high as 20 to 1- favoring the men!







Not only is this poor man's Anthony Bourdain outraged at the inauthentic Jamaican cuisine, not one woman has shown any interest even after 6 years of coming to the festival.
There were some interesting Jamaican dancers, reggae cover bands and some special guest speakers who addressed such hot topics as, "Housing discrimination for blacks in Japan", "Japan's ridiculous laws and punishment regarding Marijuana" and the very sexy,"The lack of condoms big enough for foreign black men in Japan, and it's implications in the spreading of STDs". 





The guest speakers had Jamaican dance hall routines between them throughout the day by some very, very sexy Japanese and black ladies.








Brazen Nigerian PUA's scam on these local gals right in front of their terrified boyfriends.







Besides the many Bob Marley cover bands, the most popular event was a great and very heated panel discussion on, "Men from Africapretending to be from The US or Jamaica to get laid in Japan."







Mackin' backstage with 2 cuties, this shirtless local stud made the foreign men's blood boil.








My favorite speaker was Tokyo based, guerrilla travel agent, Monte Monroe (54). His controversial lecture was in English and not understood by 90% of the audience "Sex, Tourism and Post Colonial Encounters in Jamaica".  He made some very good points that in order for Jamaica to thrive the sex/ romance tourism industry must be expanded to target Japanese men. Sex/ Romance tourism in Jamaica is huge and a much larger part of the mainstream tourist industry than many want to admit to.






Monte's lecture included such great info as,





"The majority of Kingston's million poor people tend to be hostile and unfriendly towards white-skinned people who they usually regard as colonist and imperialist oppressors- unless they are buying something from them. They don't seem to behostile towards the Japanese or Asians in general, since they didn't own slaves.  Japanese men will be welcomed with open arms and there are many great sexual values to be had that are on par with Thailand or the Philippines.





There are lots of street beggars who aggressively harass anyone who doesn't look poor. Stay away from the fat, aggressive street hookers in 'New Kingston', many of whom are quite poor and quite dangerous."







For female Japanese romance tourists  he advised,





" Never give them your real Email or home address. They will soon ask you for money and try to visit Japan at your expense.Stay away from the too handsome guys, drug addicts or men with harsh, pushy, or impatient personalities, You are sure to be very disappointed with their service.





If a 'rental dread' is not willing to go down on you, as you can ascertain through casual conversation or proposition, leave him alone. It is a sure sign that he has sexual hang-ups and won't give you a good time. If you are going to Jamaica by a tourist package, find out your hotel's policy concerning local 'guests' before you pay and go."






Monte's mic was turned off by event organizers after about 3 minutes. This was due to the boos he got by native English speakers in attendance.
Leroy, whose hair has not been washed since 1985, had his ass eaten by a sexy stranger here last year and paid for it dearly.



My new friend and Negril native, LeRoy Jenkins (70)  has been in Tokyo for 21 years. He imports Jamaican-themed tchochkes that he finds in China. His shop was in the Nakano Broadway Mall until he retired last April.
Oh mon, yesterday, dis dirty bitch. I'ma workin ova deh suh, she follow me into the toilet likes a little lost dog. I dunno why she follow me. She must be about 30 or maybe 40 year younger than me, mon. Then she present herself for me and even eat me dirty ass, mon. What is dat, mon? A nice lady from Jamaica don't do dis. Japanese ladies like to eat complete stranger's dirty ass? I'ma shock by dis. Me not accustomed to dat in me homeland, mon."
Was her name Mai?
" Maybe it was. I shoulda know dat she's a dirty bitch as me got  da Chlymidia  from dis' mornin' . Me hose had da discharge, and pissin' da razor blades. And had to go to da clinic. She say to me she got da latex allergy. I'm try to use da condom, mon. I fuck her ass like she axe me to, mon. Dis day if anyone wanna link up, me not gonna make da same mistakes dis year.”



This sexy lady in the jumpsuit actually chose the company of a Japanese trustafarian over real dreadlocked black men!
Horny, lonely and unattractive Japanese women have been going to Bali for romance since the early 1980's. Thanks to the Jamaican festival relocating to Odaiba in 2016, things are changing. Female sex tourists have dropped by 10% to Bali and that 10% is now going to Jamaica to fulfill their carnal desires. North American (and some European) women have been flocking to Jamaica since the 1960's looking for some good holiday dick.






Jamaican men's long locks, masculinity, virility and the muscular physique. It was a combination of the masculine and feminine, it is the Yin and Yang visually. The dreads symbolize a masculine energy. And many Japanese men at the festival had a form of dreads to give themselves this image.



Horny Japanese women seeking black companionship were still here, just way choosier than in past years.
The Jamaican tourist booth is buzzing with lonely Japanese housewives and single ladies longing to be loved, even if just for a few days. A dreadlocked, well-endowed black man is in many ways more appealing than the traditional little, Indonesian surfer boys who service tens of thousands of Japanese women every year.



If you enter just about any club or bar in Roppongi, you find local ladies with African guys claiming to be Jamaican, all over them dancing in seductive or downright rude style and having a good time.



“Romance tourism” overcomplicates what the motives of sex tourists are. LeRoy Jenkins- who has a Japanese wife, explained to me that concepts like "romance tourism" are only representative of small niches, like that of Jamaica and its cultural beliefs. 




LeRoy charms the ladies, young and old alike.
Through his observations, he concludes that the majority of female sex tourists are solely touring for physical encounters and not romance. LeRoy continues his argument by saying that,




Der are only two types of blacks,  Jamaicans and those who wish dey was Jamaican. In Jamaica, dem tourist and black beach boys may define der relationships as one of da romance, but in da reality, da relationship is jus' da prostitution, mon.”
These dancers on their break backstage could give 2 shits about me or LeRoy trying to chat them up.





The Jar Jar Binks soundalike, LeRoy got me VIP access. We met two non-English speaking, sexy Japanese- Jamaican Dancehall queensbackstage during their break. They've dated African men in Japan and been burned by their womanizing and demanding to either go Dutch, or flat out refusing to pay for anything. They've sworn off them for good and are now only dating wealthy or very cool Japanese men. They were more interested in their iPhones than talking to us so we left.




LeRoy was not used to such a blatant lack of interest and was left shaking his head in disbelief.
Not a flying fuck was given by this time traveling samurai chatting up a local lady.



The real attractive Japanese ladies that any foreign man would actually want to treat himself to were way pickier than usual, and acting as would be expected when the laws of economics are applied. It's becoming a crisis for black men in Tokyo.  They are having to settle for less and less attractive Japanese women.







Color these two foxy ladies unimpressed with the talent. They're getting the hell outta Dodge!






Black men are longer in favor here, as documented by the very handsome Jamaican, Stefhan Bryan.  His outdated book about how easy it was for black men to get laid in Japan had inspired many to move here. The reality of today's Japan is that white foreigners have been out of fashion as boyfriends/sex friends since around 2005 (unless they're involved in banking). Blacks are falling fast. Sadly, the popularity of hunky Korean men may soon be in jeopardy as well.







2013. Times have changed. This incredibly charming foreign man is having a hard time maintaining the interest of these two plain Janes.





Travel agent Monte was very disappointed in the scene today. He is unable to hold any woman's interest for more than 10 seconds today. Last year he had 5 very attractive women begging for his attention. He chose a stunning 30 year old actress who was married to amuch older Japanese tycoon.






"She probably held a master's degree in cock sucking and was more then willing to let me fuck her in the ass. The next day she cooked me breakfasts and treated me like a king. Shit, it looks like the party in Tokyo may finally be over."








Unlike past year's festival, these two gals came here to eat and drink- not to get laid.














Hanami 2016: A Dance, A Slip And A Broken Neck

It started in American strip clubs and became synonymous with erotic late-night entertainment.
The Japanese public are crazy about the latest fad diets and pointless exercises. This was no different, except for the fact it had a bunch of dudes jacking off over it. Kegal exercises and pole dancing for “fitness” entered the Japanese mainstream after sexy celebrity endorsements of their fitness benefits transformed it into a early 2000's exercise-craze.
A lot of these nudniks will soon be uploading video of this poor woman breaking her neck.
Now fears have been raised over the safety of the activity, after a sexy, middle aged OL was left paralyzed following an accident during a pole-dancing exhibition during the cherry blossom viewing.
Rowdy foreigners egg on the almost naked dancer to take more risks in the frigid winds.



Lovely Emiko Mahi, 39, suffered devastating injuries when she fell in Yoyogi Park, breaking her neck and severely fucking up her spinal cord.
Emi would lose her grip and come crashing down in .005 seconds.
She was left paralyzed from the chest down and remains on a ventilator to enable her to breathe. She can communicate only through a computer that tracks her eye movements.
Yoyogi Park's strict rules forbid any type of temporary structure from being erected. This law was put in place to fuck with the filthy homeless. Another factor was the infamous Waseda University Super Free circle. The preppy pervs gang-date raped several, under 20 ladies in 2002 here during hanami using a tent as cover. But mainly, we can thank those lazy hobos who call the park their home for the lack of tents and sun shelters.


The makeshift and unstable pole dance stage was erected during the crowded hanami festival. It was hard to enforce the rules effectively with so much shit going on. Paramedics were in the park and on call for the usual injuries that come with the large drunken crowds.







It's all fun and games until some bitch snaps her neck.
Introverted guardman, Ichirou “Kissy” Kishikawa, 45, was more annoyed than concerned at the incident:
That chick was pretty hot, actually I know that a couple of the other guards sniffed her bicycle seat when she came in. I'm gonna get in some shit for this accident though. We ain't supposed to let anyone put up any type of structure in the park and I told them not too. But there were a bunch of big foreigners there and they seemed all drunk and rowdy. I was alone cause of the huge crowd and festival.


We guards are spread pretty thin trying to maintain order. We got a lot of cases of alcohol poisoning, fights, people falling out of trees, homosexual sex in our newly renovated bathrooms. You name it, I've seen it. I got a lot of shit on my plate at the moment. You people don't know how hard it is. You all never listen. Now I'll be in the office writing and revising an incident report all night.”


Officer "Kissy" keeps the crowd from doing any more damage to Emi's crippled cadaver.
Pole dance fan and witness, Tomo Kubo of Saitama described what happened.
"Well , she was in a Chopsticks Variation which seemed ok, then she transitioned to a Marion Amber and it started going to shit. I could see that the bitter cold was affecting her grip.  She tried a Triple Lindy into a Planche when she got to the top but she didn't have the strength- the wind and cold were bad.... I thought she should stop then. She was blond, but I could tell she had a big, jet- black forest . Anyway, she went into a Teddy Straddle and the crowd got all excited so she pushed on into a Half -Flag Invert , that's a hard move even for a pro, and then she slipped while trying to transition into a Brass Monkey.

Attempting proper transitions on a wonky table from Donki + freezing winds + rowdy, foreign crowd = ACCIDENT
She went down hard, right on her head and we heard a sickening crack. I guess that was her neck. It was horrible. She was so full of life a few seconds before. Then she was just there in a crumpled pile of exposed flesh. People still applauded.  They thought it was a goof.  After about 30 seconds we could see she was out cold."
At this point several overwight, drunken foreigners ran over and started shaking her violently and slapping her to wake up. She was like a rag doll being manhandled by them. That was probably the wrong thing to do since she had a serious neck or back injury.

Never mind the dead girl, the line for the shitter is 45 minutes long!
Emi's limp and lifeless body, was transferred to Shinjuku Woman's Hospital for emergency surgery on her spine and head. The bag of meat was later moved by ambulance to the spinal injury unit in Tamagawa University Hospital.
Her Nigerian manager 'Rudy', said,
She was upside down, just about 2 meters above the ground, when she lost her grip and fell on her head and was knocked the fuck out! Unfortunately, none of the drunken idiots watching were medical professionals or had any common sense and knew what the fuck to do, otherwise I think she would have been much better off. I may not know nothing, but I know one thing for sure, and that's that you are not supposed to move someone around with a neck injury.”
The strikingly handsome 'Rudy' declined to be photographed, or give his legal name as his alien registration is expired and his visa status is undetermined.
EMT, Yoshi Harada complains, "Sadly, I think the drunken and mostly foreign crowd did more damage to Emi's neck than the actual fall."
This has been heartbreaking for me and everyone who witnessed it. There were some little kids right in front. They must be traumatized by this- do you know if they're OK? I've been managing her for three years. I also maintain her Facebook fan page- she can't write English very well. Emi was, and hopefully still is a fantastic and uninhibited lover, an amazingly beautiful lady with a great, firm ass. You could crack an egg on that accommodating ass. She was one of the most romantic and sensual people any horny guy in Roppongi could want to meet.”
Rudy mailed me today that Emi still has some limited feeling from her bleach blond head to her pretty feet, and had recently had some movement in her long slender neck, shoulders and firm, totally halved, abdomen.  Rudy said the MRI scans had revealed no evidence of brain damage. While there has been some recent improvement in Emi's condition, it may be three years before doctors could properly assess what progress she could make.
The only good thing that happened was that no fruity dudes had a chance to perform on the pole.



Fuck Rudy, the guards and the fat, white drunks who shook Emi after she broke her neck, I'm gonna go to town on this faggotty vegan wrap thing.

Real Men of Japan: A typical Tokyo bachelor




Fumitaka Mori (48), of Tokyo's working class Ittabashi-ku is hanging on to his happier days. The property manager refuses to accept any new tech from after 1994, he doesn't even own a cellphone. He has a traditional landline and hi-fi setup he bought in the early 1990s. My new friend lives in a two room, rent controlled apartment, a 20 minute walk from the loser end of the Mita line.

His old apartment is jammed with thousands of VHS tapes, audio cassettes and vinyl LPs. He also has a huge collection of home videogame consoles and software from the 80s and early 1990s.

Classic media fans in their 40's are all over Tokyo these days.

Why the old, piece of shit Walkman?


Well, I'll tell ya, to me, cassettes make me pay more attention to the music, this is not because I think it sounds better. I bought this thing in 1991 and it still works, why get rid of it? I also have a Pioneer turntable I bought 22 years ago in Akihabara because I thought it could be a fun toy, it still works now, and it's very good. I make my own mixes and I think the cassette is a better format than minidiscs or MP3s. If I put a record on it requires more effort on my part, it's a more active experience than listening to music on a smartphone.

If you downloaded music online it would be free. You could also watch porn on a smartphone. I'll teach you.

I would say that there's a kind of camaraderie with the artist when I  pay full price at Disc Union for the vinyl.  I make my own tapes, sometimes a custom mix. I guess this comes from experiencing the music the way that the artist intended it to be experienced. We Japanese are people of honor. We don't steal. I'm not saying the western way is wrong, Prince, just that the Japanese way is right.

Watching porn online is stealing, and it will also infect your computer with a nasty virus.You white foreigners feel that's 'pretentious', or that I'm a dick for carrying this Walkman around and watching my VHS tapes, but it seems to me that you lose something when you, as the listener, change the music. Now, you may similarly gain something by doing this, but to Japanese men my age, it's not a valueless transaction.

I was told you may be the panty thief of Takashimadaira 2 cho mae, is there any truth to that accusation?


Oh lord, no, but I was a great panty thief in my junior high school days. I used to cycle to nearby towns on hunting expeditions. There was a women's college near my area. A lot of these young tramps hung their underwear out on the balconies, especially if they lived on upper floors. Me and my friend, Munehisa began to notice these dirty whores would hang the freshly washed bras and panties out.

We became very skilled at stealing from balconies. It was no problem for us to scale a back wall and climb up 2 or 3 floors for our trophies. We also used to hit all of the coin laundries on our bike rides and find rare treats young women had left in the dryers. The raids themselves were almost as fun as searching for stains and trying them on when we got back home.

Whats the appeal to stealing underwear?

The obvious answer is the violation of her privacy. 99.9% are too ashamed to call the police so it's easy and victimless. I took to wearing them under my school uniform on cold days. This was back in the early 1980's mind you. I'm not the guy the cops are looking for now.


When Japanese boys discover the pleasure of stealing women's underwear, it often is born out a piqued curiosity towards human sexuality and exactly what the whole process is like. The average  typical teenager doesn't directly delve from panty theft to JAV (Japanese Adult Video) right off the bat. But JAV literally changes the pleasure centers in your brain, the more you watch and the more you masturbate and time your orgasms along with it. Just like a drug would, it activates neuroplasticity and triggers areas in the limbic part of the brain to change.



You're talking over my head, Fumitaka. Do you know anything about the panty thief in this area?



Have you ever masturbated with a pair of used panties on your head? I mean with your eyes exposed, but nose and mouth covered. If you can find actual fecal or menstrual stains that still have a scent? It's an experience that's better than all your 4K, 3D 50'' screen Blue Ray JAV anyday. The youth today and  you foreign downloaders have no idea.

Men who were once inexperienced towards pornography and sniffing stolen panties, will now start needing more stimulation, more intensity in the JAV to reach the same arousal and be able to finish. This is how a lot of Japanese men who started off with simple JAV end up gravitating towards more intense pornography and 'lifestyles'.


Such as train groping?

Yes, sometimes that's the case. Munehisa ended up in that camp for many years. We lost touch after he got married in 1998. He's most likely still doing it on the Saikyo line. That's paradise for the train gropers, with all the schools and long distances between stops. Not with me though. I'm not some sort of creep. The issue lies in how a man translates this into the real world when the opportunity for a real life sexual encounter arises. If they can have realistic sexual expectations regardless of the type of JAV they watch, then the guy is fine.




So you've never been a train groper and you're not the guy the cops are looking for?




Look, if pornography is what they're using a sex guide, especially if their taste has escalated towards more fetish, molester type porn, they might be in for a surprise when it comes to real life dating with regular Japanese women. Now there are outlets for these urges. Happening bars, No Panty bars- usually staffed with non Japanese or ugly Japanese women, fat ones with low self esteem, and what not, I don't need that myself. All of the super hot girls, like the ones in JAV, are in high class hostess bars for rich guys.

The picture on VHS is crap compared to a digital copy, don't you think?

Now, some people prefer the sound and picture of DVD/CDs. Whether this is 'right' or not is a purely subjective question. As for the pornographic films you speak of, for me, I like the ritual of choosing from my collection, opening the case and loading the physical tape... I just like the intentionality of the act. It's a ritual I like to go through. Maybe you think it's OCD or something...

Many JAV consumers over 45 think DVDs are for the birds.


DVDs and Blue Rays are not for me. I don't want, or desire to see every ingrown hair on the shaft of the actor's cock, I don't need to see every pimple on the idol's ass in high definition. Pornography has already made us consumers into something that is subhuman.

A lot of the golden age JAV you like is fake.


True. Long ago, when the mosaics were larger -before the arrival of  'digital mosaics', most mainstream studios, like Alice Japan, Max-A, Kuki and so on, had fake sex. One of the big appeals of the new wave of indie studios S1 and Moodyz was that they had real penetrations. Sadly their stuff was only out on VHS for a few years before the switch.


VHS provides fantasy. I found that much of my masturbation experiences are automatic these days. There's nothing wrong with that of course, but it's a nice change to sit down in the evening and take ones time to deliberately choose what I want to beat off to.


Fumitaka's shitty apartment building looks like it should be in North Korea.


OK, but don't you want to watch JAV anywhere you happen to be? A single man like you has needs, right?


VHS and an old fashioned TV are the best platform for Japanese Adult Videos- as well as the classic video games I love. Many young people seem to prefer their pornography viewed on an iPhone. I personally love to put in one of my old VHS tapes into my VCR. I can leave the tape at the exact spot I ejaculated and carry on with the rest of the movie later, sometimes it's years before I get back to the tape and I imagine it's like meeting an old girlfriend. We Japanese also agree that in spite of the undeniable fact that VHS reproduces reality more accurately, and with a bigger mosaic for even uncensored formats and even then, color reproduction is better on my old CRT TV.

The million dollar view from Fumitaka's living room is enough to make anyone want to watch 1990's Japanese porn on VHS.





Don't the giant old TV and the tapes take up a shitload of space in your small apartment?

I use the shelves of tapes to block my windows. The Arakawa river outside is basically toxic sludge and human waste anyway. No mosquitoes though, they can't even tolerate the chemicals in there. There's some sort of  manufacturing going on across the river too. The local government won't release much info about what's going on over there. We locals don't even ask anymore.

Tokyo is too expensive for many single men to date real girls in. JAV is a more affordable substitute.




Anyway, I'll tell ya, Betamax had better picture quality. I have about 750 JAV tapes in the Beta format. They also had very good signal to noise ratio. Akai manufactured a 12-track all-in-one mixer/ recording system that recorded to betamax and it was actually quite good! The preamps were transparent and the multitrack was quiet. It was easy to operate, easy to overdub and fun to use. One of the main reasons Beta failed in Japan was pornography. Sony refused to license Betamax to the Japanese adult video industry whereas JVC let them produce pornography on the VHS.

What about all the space that shit takes up though? You could fit all those tapes on a few 2TB external hard drives. They're like the size of a pack of cards.




I'm not saying your way is wrong, Prince. Just that I think my style is the right way to enjoy the medium. I also have a lot of nostalgia for the format and my collection. I have about 3000 or more VHS cassettes cataloged and organized in custom made shelves. Back in the late 80s to the early 2000s, all JAV was put out on VHS. I'd rent 4-5 movies at a time and I'd record the ones I didn't watch for later. I'd actually dub them all. There are still hundreds I haven't seen.

There are many outlets for stress in Ittabashi besides viewing golden age, Japanese pornography on VHS.

Don't you want a regular girlfriend or wife someday?





I don't want to settle for the type of woman who would be available to a man like me. In Japan, 5-10% of the guys get 95% of the attractive women. Investment bankers and doctors mainly. The alpha male types. As far as my brain knows I have dozens  of girlfriends( laughs), the brain sees the sexual imagery on screen and feels my release and thinks these 9s and 10s are actually with me romantically.




By discovering JAV, I've actually hacked my brain into believing I'm some sort of middle aged, ladies man. My brain thinks these are my actual sex friends. I doubt I could ever pull off dating such attractive ladies with my pitiful salary anyway. I can't imagine being married to some hausfrau and living a boring life in the suburbs. I have no need or motivation to date a real, breathing woman. It's also very expensive to date in Tokyo. This is one of the most expensive cities in the world, right? Being single in Tokyo is very socially acceptable these days thanks to pornography.






Has pornography given you unrealistic expectations about who you should be dating?





So, back in the day, I used 4 VHS machines in mint condition and 2 Betamax, so I could record and watch movies or TV at the same time. It was pretty elaborate. But the scrambling exploit got Beta out of the marketplace even sooner. The yakuza people absolutely lost their shit when they realized it was essentially worthless and we geeks could circumvent scramblers so easily.

The industry's the biggest problem with tape in general was, we fans can only masturbate so many times in a day.

He only knows about the latest JAV idols because of the magazine covers he sees in the 7-11 men's section.





Are the latest releases even available on VHS anymore?

I don't need them. I made so many classic, JAV VHS dubs that I would need two lifetimes to see them all. Honestly, I have no idea who the latest JAV idols are. I don't even know what that big breasted freak Hitomi or Yuria Satomi look like. I mean, I know some of the faces and names from men's newspapers and what not. And, I confess, I do have about 50 VHS tapes that were recorded from DVD. Those are rare exceptions though. Those cases were when performers I was nostalgic for, made a comeback and it was only available on DVD. As a fan, it's my duty to support the artist in that situation as well.

Oy vey...



If someone likes to view porn on DVD or digitally, then it's not bad of them, in any of the directions you complain about, to seek out VHS that was recorded and intended for old TVs. They want to see the old picture, and they want to hear the sound that the director intended.


Fumitaka will let go of his Walkman when it's pried from his cold, dead fingers.






Most of the new girls in JAV are way hotter than the 1980's. You can check it out on my iPad with my if you want a little taste.

Prince, I've seen some of the new porn. Don't care for it... The mosaic is too small. Leaves too little to the imagination. It's also disrespectful the the actresses. I guess I haven't really been into anyone new since about 2003, that's when the VHS market switched over to DVD in Japan. End of an era...

Fuck that stubborn old cunt, Fumitaka. I've got oden to go to town on.

Sharks Invade Shonan Beach

Several false shark sightings had bathers running like bats out of hell.


My friend Shiro Iishi cares. And, he's one of the few that do. Not blinded by money or pussy.  He's a 3rd generation Shonan Beach guard-man. Out year round, in the frigid January cold to the record heat of August, sweating his balls off. He's here for what he cares about most. In the summers the drunken college pukes and tattooed chimpira toughs show him very little respect. He's here to enforce the rules-not make them. I met Shiro, the real ass dude, three summers ago when some muscular teenagers kicked sand in my face as I sunbathed. He made them apologize and has been keeping an eye on me and my safety ever since.
The Real Men of Shonan Beach.

From keeping groups of white foreigners, who think they're slick by drinking forbidden alcohol out of plastic cups and blasting loud music. To assisting the police in crime scenes, helping the lifeguards keep an eye on the water. He's even trained in CPR. It's a thankless and demanding job that has a hard time recruiting these days.
Usually ignored, today he is busy due to the shark sightings up the coast of the Kanto region the past couple weeks. He gave me the inside scoop on what's going on.





Shiro is really sweating bullets under his Heat-Tech uniform in the August humidity.






I'll tell ya Prince, now these hammerheads, they keep swimming around in a place where the feeding is good, until the food supply is gone. The real sharks today are these money grubbing suits walking around threatening to have the guards arrested if we speak of the sharks off shore. I don't care.
I'm a guardman and my number one concern is for the saftey of the beachgoers. Even though they disrespect me and ignore most of my commands.”
Even as Shiro approaches middle age, his jet black locks, the way he talks and the open ingenuousness of his face indicate a much younger, less experienced man, and this has led beachgoers to underestimate or even ignore him. He is a real working class hero. Shiro has some of the good guy-bad guy feel of a John Woo movie anyway, and because he is so blatantly one of the good guys, competitors in the security guard business have gone so far as to write him off as an amateur. They have found themselves out of business and well down the coast past Chigasaki, en route to other, shittier parts of the Shonan coast, before they knew what hit them.

Chit chat about how you may have seen a shark is a great opener for the namapa meisters.
The fact is, Shiro is smart, smart in ways that go beyond the savvy of the beach and the hard hustle of his 1980's Kamakura boyhood. He is shrewd and tough, but he is constitutionally honest, devoid of brutality, and so kind that much of his income disappears among the local Shonan residents, the townspeople and whatever down-and-outers find their way to the shore.

Shiro's team are told to "fuck right off" by white foreigners, as they give warnings about the sharks meters away.
Shiro, I really respect what you're saying but it's hot as hell here. I'm on the verge of  heatstroke, can't I just go in up to my knees?
No way Prince, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks, and that's all. Now, why don't you take a long, close look at what's on the news. No swimming!
These two idiots care more about draining a huge carbuncle than the sharks just offshore.
The Shonan Beach House Association have their lawyers and some muscle walking around in a panic telling everyone it's OK. Swimming is allowed. Shiro and his men are in a pickle. Litigation can be outrageously expensive for working stiffs like him. Commercial litigation and complex cases can often cost tens of millions of yen. Unless there are many more millions of yen at stake, it really is rarely in the party's interest to engage in. The Shonan Beach House Association has deep pockets and corporate interest in keeping the beaches open. Shiro is hanging tough on his stance. Even though swimming is not officially banned, he can give unofficial warnings to keep out of the sea.



These scumbag lawyers and their goons from the Shonan Beach House Association are the real sharks.

Those guys in the suits are telling everyone it's OK to swim. The sharks are gone and they were really small anyway. They say it's totally safe.
Sometimes they just pretend to go away. Sometimes those sharks, they looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip your hairy, white ass to pieces. Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred stubborn swimmers!





Shonan's awesome bar scene will take a huge hit if swimming is banned.




Do you have any idea as to why we have shark sightings this summer?
You people are looking for specific reasons for these events and some reasons have been offered up by the shark researchers. My feeling is we don’t know enough about the conditions associated with the attacks to pin the cause on one particular factor. Many factors acting together are the likely answer. These factors could include anomalously high saltiness increasing the number of sharks in inshore waters, then we have these dirty whores having their periods swimming. Period blood is blood! And, quite frankly, Prince, these women- and I use that term loosely, are disgusting. These Hammerheads can smell that shit from miles away. We also have a really high number of prey species in coastal waters attracting more sharks to areas where there are swimmers, or proximity of victims to persons surf fishing or fishing from the beach and bridges.
These chunky broads with their synchronized Leak Week are partially to blame for Shark Week.
So girls on the rag is one of the reasons. If those dirty whores stayed out of the water would we be OK to swim?
Could be a major factor.  Additional factors could be global warming, the record hot summer, resulting in more people coming to the beach, more sharks being in the area due to predictable migrations into higher latitudes from more southerly overwintering areas or related to shark pupping and mating season in the region. I saw one old guy with a huge bleeding pustule on his back. He was cleaning his wound out in the sea, all that blood and pus are a magnet for sea creatures. But yes, many girls who are close friends have their menses at the same time, and it may be the biggest reason.
The huge blood patch offshore can't keep these morons out of the sea.
You haven't seen any sharks personally, couldn't this all be bullshit to get TV ratings?
Yes, however, the reality is that we are not sure if the recent sightings off  Chigasaki and Ibaraki are  bullshit or reflective of potential changing patterns in shark attacks. My strong feeling is that it is the former and the increased use of Twitter and what not, and the 24 hour access to print and television news has raised awareness of unrelated events that are being treated as a single occurrence.

These Kanagawa toughs don't realize this is not the time to clown around.
Thanks Shiro. With guys like you I know Shonan is in good hands.
Thank you. My worst nightmare is that a parent whose children I'm paid to protect says,' I just found out, that a guy got eaten here last week, and you knew it! You knew there was a shark out there! You knew it was dangerous! But you let people go swimming anyway? You knew all those things! But still my kid is dead now. And there's nothing you can do about it.'.  I know what could happen- and that's what scares me the most.

Fuck these menstruating cunts and the sharks. I'm going to buy Shiro a fisherman's platter to show my appreciations.

The Whores of Japanese Table Tennis



Fuck Fukuhara Ai, The Princess of Aomori  prefecture. That whiney, little Waseda cunt hates to fail.  It's well known that she's a sore loser. On Thursday, that moon faced tart and defending co champion Ryusuke Sakamoto, fell hard to prematurely balding, 15 year old Masato Watanabe and sexy- yet dwarf like, 37 year old, Naomi Yotsumoto in full sets in the mixed doubles semifinals at the national championships in Sendagaya.

That match was a matter of pride for Fukuhara (she was already on the 2015 National Team) – this chubby little bitch hates losing, especially to younger opponents. My top secret inside source stated that when Ai-chan loses, she often locks herself away in her well guarded, VIP changing room, and cries uncontrollably (She is also known to stand in front of the mirror and threaten to throw her bloated self down on a knife because she hates her rotund, short legged little body and moon face). She also has lots of frustration that she is unable to find a boyfriend or even a date at Waseda University. She's slow to get to the match on time due to compulsive mirror checking, glancing in reflective doors, windows and other reflective surfaces, reassurance-seeking from loved ones.


For weeks before big tournaments, she suffers from social withdrawal and co-morbid depression,
spends hours locked up  before matches with her excessive grooming behaviors: picking,combing hair, plucking eyebrows, shaving. She's still  hard on the eyes even by Waseda University's low standards of beauty.





I'm not saying nothing, but Ai chan better lay off the sweets if she want's to find a proper boyfriend.

Have you ever seen a cute girl at Waseda? It's pretty easy to big a big fish in a small pond, but she can't even rise above the ugliest broads there!!! Table Tennis is seen as a "dark sport" in Japan and even the most desperate dork (at a school that tolerated and had well known rape clubs for years) ain't into it.



You ain't that mint.

On Thursday - She smashed an expensive water cooler  and refused to shake hands with the judges and winners as is required by the international rules of table tennis.  She also called the photographers and bunch of perverts and creeps as they followed her storming off into the locker room. Her sponsorship with ANA was also in jeopardy and review after the 2014 World Championships in Yokohama.




Ai Fukuhara shoves past reporters and knocks over and Fuji TV reporter after her shocking and decisive loss.

Anyway, the undisputed best ass in Japanese Ping Ping belongs not to the bloated Ai -chan, but to bubble butted,  reformed womanizer, Yuji Saito, 67, a former pro and now the head judge. Now that's a juicy ass I'd like to take a bite out of!

You've got an awesome ass. Is it real?

Thank you! Actually I do get quite a few compliments on it (laughs). It's my grandmother Etsuko's. My parents and sisters all have flat, sachet asses. I had a complex about it since I was a toddler, but since Kim Kardashian and Jen Settler became popular it's become trendy. I have a hard time buying pants that fit well to this day.  My legs are quite normal sized, so my pant's need to be tailored extensively. Otherwise I look like I'm walking around on tree trunks (laughs).”



What do you think of the play this year?



I judge here every year as a volunteer, and man I'll tell ya, most of these sluts got hit by the ugly tree. But that Yotsosumi Naomi or whatever her name is. Oh lord, I'd tap that ass. Cute, perky little B cups. Big tits?. I just don't see how they are better? Tits are tits! She's just not a very skilled player (laughs), and 'may' be a midget in the legal sense of the word, but I'm sure she looks very proportionate nude.  Just like a mini woman. Like she was hit with the shrinking ray from the Ant Man.

With all due respect to my wife, Mrs. Saito, Naomi's got a face I'd like to sit on for a good long while. She's quite stylish as well. As for Ai chan, her influence, if she helped produce the hackneyed polarization of ugly, traditional versus the sexier, 'more marketable in China' players, then she’s partly at fault for the political stalemate in the International Table Tennis Federation this past ten years.”






The best ass in Ping Pong belongs to a judge.

The judges panic and rush to action as Ai chan rips apart her dressing room and  shouts threats at  photographers.

Not the best ass but the sexiest.....

Unlike Fukuhara Ai, who is ugly, here's the sexy, child sized, Yotsumoto Naomi. This diminutive tart, already has a gravure video out, and should make the next step to Japanese Adult Video debut before 2015 is over. She's a marginally talented pro who never even cracked the top 100 women in the ITTF.  It's pretty easy to be the hottest chick in the world of Japanese Table Tennis. I wouldn't give her a second glance on the beach, but in the societal outcast world of ping pong she's the all time shit!

Countless Japanese Table Tennis fanboys have dedicated their loads to this lady.

Ai Chan better be good in the Olympics, she doesn't have much in the looks department to fall back on. Some shit school in the countryside will give her a job as a gym teacher - if her mental instability doesn't cause her being institutionalized for life.

The deserving of Body Dysmorphic Disorder sufferer and slightly talented Ai Fukuhara.

Tokyo's One Love Jamaican Festival 2015

The lines were longer and the food was much worse than usual.
Since it's humble Osaka beginnings in 1964, this annual event helps build romantic or just sexual relations between Jamaican men and Japanese women. This was the 49th anniversary of sanctioned carnal relations between the two very different countries.  For the purpose of friendship and good sex between Japan and Jamaica, "One Love Jamaica Festival" is an event originating from the testicles of Jamaica.
It is an historic event.







Japanese women have earned the power to be picky after a decade of games & sexual abuse at the Jamaican Festival.

Tokyo's black male population was in for a rude awaking at this year's festival in the lively Yoyogi Park.  There was a zero tolerance policy against smoking Marijuana. To make matters worse, the word must have gotten out about the easy pickings at last year's event. The Black men to Japanese women ratio was the highest on record. Official estimates think there were only 2 attractive Japanese women to every black gentleman on the prowl for easy pussy. In past years it was as high as 20 to 1- favoring the men!







Not only is this poor man's Anthony Bourdain outraged at the inauthentic Jamaican cuisine, not one woman has shown any interest even after 6 years of coming to the festival.


There were some interesting Jamaican dancers, reggae cover bands and some special guest speakers who addressed such hot topics as, "Housing discrimination for blacks in Japan", "Japan's ridiculous laws and punishment regarding Marijuana" and the very sexy, "The lack of condoms big enough for foreign black men in Japan, and it's implications in the spreading of STDs"





The guest speakers had Jamaican dance hall routines between them throughout the day by some very, very sexy Japanese and black ladies.








Brazen Nigerian PUA's scam on these local gals right in front of their terrified boyfriends.







Besides the many Bob Marley cover bands, the most popular event was a great and very heated panel discussion on, "Men from Africa pretending to be from The US or Jamaica to get laid in Japan."







Mackin' backstage with 2 cuties, this shirtless local stud made the foreign men's blood boil.








My favorite speaker was Tokyo based, guerrilla travel agent, Monte Monroe (54). His controversial lecture was in English and not understood by 90% of the audience "Sex, Tourism and Post Colonial Encounters in Jamaica"He made some very good points that in order for Jamaica to thrive the sex/ romance tourism industry must be expanded to target Japanese men. Sex/ Romance tourism in Jamaica is huge and a much larger part of the mainstream tourist industry than many want to admit to.






Monte's lecture included such great info as,





"The majority of Kingston's million poor people tend to be hostile and unfriendly towards white-skinned people who they usually regard as colonist and imperialist oppressors- unless they are buying something from them. They don't seem to be hostile towards the Japanese or Asians in general, since they didn't own slaves.  Japanese men will be welcomed with open arms and there are many great sexual values to be had that are on par with Thailand or the Philippines.





There are lots of street beggars who aggressively harass anyone who doesn't look poor. Stay away from the fat, aggressive street hookers in 'New Kingston', many of whom are quite poor and quite dangerous."







For female Japanese romance tourists  he advised,





" Never give them your real Email or home address. They will soon ask you for money and try to visit Japan at your expense. Stay away from the too handsome guys, drug addicts or men with harsh, pushy, or impatient personalities, You are sure to be very disappointed with their service.





If a 'rental dread' is not willing to go down on you, as you can ascertain through casual conversation or proposition, leave him alone. It is a sure sign that he has sexual hang-ups and won't give you a good time. If you are going to Jamaica by a tourist package, find out your hotel's policy concerning local 'guests' before you pay and go."






Monte's mic was turned off by event organizers after about 3 minutes. This was due to the boos he got by native English speakers in attendance.


Leroy, whose hair has not been washed since 1985, had his ass eaten by a sexy stranger here last year and paid for it dearly.







My new friend and Negril native, LeRoy Jenkins (70)  has been in Tokyo for 21 years. He imports Jamaican-themed tchochkes that he finds in China. His shop was in the Nakano Broadway Mall until he retired last April.
Oh mon, last year dis dirty bitch. I'ma workin ova deh suh, she follow me into the toilet likes a little lost dog. I dunno why she follow me. She must be about 30 or maybe 40 year younger than me, mon. Then she present herself for me and even eat me dirty ass, mon. What is dat, mon? A nice lady from Jamaica don't do dis. Japanese ladies like to eat complete stranger's dirty ass? I'ma shock by dis. Me not accustomed to dat in me homeland, mon."
Was her name Mai?
" Maybe it was. I shoulda know dat she's a dirty bitch as me got  da Chlymidia about 5 days later. Me hose had da discharge, and pissin' da razor blades. And had to go to da clinic. She say to me she got da latex allergy. I'm try to use da condom, mon. I fuck her ass like she axe me to, mon. Dis year if anyone wanna link up, me not gonna make da same mistakes dis year.”








This sexy lady in the jumpsuit actually chose the company of a Japanese trustafarian over real dreadlocked black men!


Horny, lonely and unattractive Japanese women have been going to Bali for romance since the early 1980's. Thanks to the Jamaican festival relocating to Yoyogi Park in 2001, things are changing. Female sex tourists have dropped by 10% to Bali and that 10% is now going to Jamaica to fulfill their carnal desires. North American (and some European) women have been flocking to Jamaica since the 1960's looking for some good holiday dick.






Jamaican men's long locks, masculinity, virility and the muscular physique. It was a combination of the masculine and feminine, it is the Yin and Yang visually. The dreads symbolize a masculine energy. And many Japanese men at the festival had a form of dreads to give themselves this image.


Horny Japanese women seeking black companionship were still here, just way choosier than in past years.

The Jamaican tourist booth is buzzing with lonely Japanese housewives and single ladies longing to be loved, even if just for a few days. A dreadlocked, well-endowed black man is in many ways more appealing than the traditional little, Indonesian surfer boys who service tens of thousands of Japanese women every year.





If you enter just about any club or bar in Roppongi, you find local ladies with African guys claiming to be Jamaican, all over them dancing in seductive or downright rude style and having a good time.






“Romance tourism” overcomplicates what the motives of sex tourists are. LeRoy Jenkins- who has a Japanese wife, explained to me that concepts like "romance tourism" are only representative of small niches, like that of Jamaica and its cultural beliefs. 






LeRoy charms the ladies, young and old alike.


Through his observations, he concludes that the majority of female sex tourists are solely touring for physical encounters and not romance. LeRoy continues his argument by saying that,






Der are only two types of blacks,  Jamaicans and those who wish dey was Jamaican. In Jamaica, dem tourist and black beach boys may define der relationships as one of da romance, but in da reality, da relationship is jus' da prostitution, mon.”


These dancers on their break backstage could give 2 shits about me or LeRoy trying to chat them up.





The Jar Jar Binks soundalike, LeRoy got me VIP access. We met two non-English speaking, sexy Japanese- Jamaican Dancehall queens backstage during their break. They've dated African men in Japan and been burned by their womanizing and demanding to either go Dutch, or flat out refusing to pay for anything. They've sworn off them for good and are now only dating wealthy or very cool Japanese men. They were more interested in their iPhones than talking to us so we left.




LeRoy was not used to such a blatant lack of interest and was left shaking his head in disbelief.



Not a flying fuck was given by this time traveling samurai chatting up a local lady.


The real attractive Japanese ladies that any foreign man would actually want to treat himself to were way pickier than usual, and acting as would be expected when the laws of economics are applied. It's becoming a crisis for black men in Tokyo.  They are having to settle for less and less attractive Japanese women.







Color these two foxy ladies unimpressed with the talent. They're getting the hell outta Dodge!






Black men are longer in favor here, as documented by the very handsome Jamaican, Stefhan BryanHis outdated book about how easy it was for black men to get laid in Japan had inspired many to move here. The reality of today's Japan is that white foreigners have been out of fashion as boyfriends/sex friends since around 2005 (unless they're involved in banking). Blacks are falling fast. Sadly, the popularity of hunky Korean men may soon be in jeopardy as well.







2013. Times have changed. This incredibly charming foreign man is having a hard time maintaining the interest of these two plain Janes.





Travel agent Monte was very disappointed in the scene today. He is unable to hold any woman's interest for more than 10 seconds today. Last year he had 5 very attractive women begging for his attention. He chose a stunning 30 year old actress who was married to a much older Japanese tycoon.





"She probably held a master's degree in cock sucking and was more then willing to let me fuck her in the ass. The next day she cooked me breakfasts and treated me like a king. Shit, it looks like the party in Tokyo may finally be over."







Unlike past year's festival, these two gals came here to eat and drink- not to get laid.








Oy Vey!











Fuck all these stuck up cunts who don't want nothing to do with horny and overconfident foreign men! I'm getting out of the park and away from that shitty food. There's a good black bean veggie- burger place just outside the park.